Did you know that your words and your thoughts shape your reality? Today, we’re going to talk about the influence of our words and our emotions on creating the life that we desire. 

Hello, and welcome to another episode of Effective Immediately. I am Rebecca Wiener McGregor, the Anxiety Eraser. Welcome to a show where we talk about mindset, healthy emotions, leadership, and abundance. And I give you a new tip, a new shift that you can make in your mind effective immediately. 

Let’s dive into this. Because everywhere we are hearing people talk about different things in their lives, right? Every day, especially if you’re in the transformation space. If you are working with people who have goals, if you’re talking to people who have goals, if you are a person who has goals, you are likely talking about your life with people, right? And what I’m hearing over and over and over again is these strong attachments to negative things in our lives. So if something stirred for you, remember that this is a show where we do not judge. We are loving with ourselves. We gather data, we look at things with curiosity, and we make the appropriate shifts. 

Your Brain is Listening

Every single thing that you say about your life, about the world, about the way that you feel, about what you want, your brain is listening. Every single thing when you repeat things over and over and over again, especially with emotion, they become strong, powerful beliefs. And because we have a very wonderful magical brain, you know, I love our brain so much. It will start to create pathways to the things that you want, the things that you say that you want. Because your brain only assumes that whatever you are talking about is what you want. So imagine your brain as a store fulfillment, and everything that you talk about you’re putting in your cart. Everything that you’re talking about goes right into your cart. Everything that you’re talking about adds up. Everything that you’re talking about in your life, in your world, in your space, about the world, about everything is going in the cart. It’s at least going into your browsing history, right? And we know then, every time something goes into your browsing history, you start to see more and more of it. Because of our beautiful brain, the reticular activating system is starting to look for more evidence; it’s starting to look for more like objects. It is starting to look for more data that you want and can have what you’re talking about.

So give yourself a break to take a breath right now. Give yourself a pause. If you are noticing that the reality that you have is not the reality that you want, and you’ve been saying all sorts of things to yourself, you’ve been saying all sorts of things into the world that don’t exactly match what you want; you can shift this. Oh my gosh, a bald eagle just flew past my window. Okay, here’s your sign, right? Here’s your sign that things can change. And today, I’m going to give you some tips and ways that you can begin to think and look at your emotions and look at your thought patterns a little bit differently. The number one thing here is awareness. So once you notice that you’re thinking in a certain way or being in a certain way, putting a certain set of emotions behind something, you can shift. 

We’ve talked about positive affirmations before. We’ve talked about how your belief in yourself and repeating the things that matter to you can amplify your success. Can amplify and speed up the path to getting to the things that you want. The same is true when you use negative emotions. The number one way that this happens is complaining. I know that stings, right? Our brain loves to find ways to connect with other people because we’re connectors; we’re humans. And the easiest way for us to connect with other people because our brain has a tendency toward the negative is to complain. So what will we complain about? We will complain about money, we’ll complain about the state of the world, we’ll complain about the people around us, our teammates, our bosses, our health, our money situation, our whatever you can think of. Every single time that we do this, and we begin to feel the emotion along with it, we are creating stronger pathways for those things to be our reality. But the reverse is true as well. When you do your positive affirmations, when you practice your mindfulness, when you practice your visualizations, and you do these things with all of your senses and with your strong emotions attached, you can amplify the vision of what you want as well.

I know I just dropped a lot on you. And some of this, you may know, right? It’s very easy for us to know things. We’ve heard about things, we’ve seen a post, we’ve read some articles. But the truth is, even though I’ve been working this stuff for 20 years, I still have to pay attention to and clean up my thinking. It’s normal. It’s normal to have these thoughts. It’s normal to behave in this way. It’s normal to set yourself up for failure because our brain has a tendency to keep us in the same place stuck. Our brain really likes it when we’re not changing too much too fast. We’ve talked about this many times, right? Your subconscious mind does not really care about your success. It does not care about your big goals. It does not care about those pieces of you that have this big desire. It’s your spirit. It’s your spirit that wants your big thing, your big goal, and is pulling you forward toward it. Your subconscious mind would love to have you sitting on the sofa watching Netflix safe at home, not changing at all, not growing at all, every single day. So of course, it’s going to make this kind of thing, complaining and attaching to the things that we don’t want, very, very easy.

Impacts of Negative Self-Talk

Let’s get into the impact of negative self-talk. Okay? This is really important. Have you ever heard of self-fulfilling prophecy, where someone is talking about, thinking about, ruminating about the fact that they can’t have what they want, they’re on the path to their goal? But they are just saying things like This will never work out. This just isn’t me. I mean, my family has never been this successful. No one in my family has done XYZ. No one that I know has done this, and I have no support, so I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t think I can do this. Where this story keeps running and running and running in the negative and you have witnessed this in people around you. You’ve maybe even witnessed this in yourself. When you had a path to something, you were moving toward this path, and you realized that you started to say really negative things, and you talked yourself out of your success. That’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Be very, very gentle with yourself now because I’m asking you to look at your thoughts. Because I want you to have every frickin thing that you want. I want you to have every single thing that you want in your life. And it is possible if it feels good and right and natural to you. The only thing that holds it back is the way that your subconscious mind is operating, and the way that you are operating your conscious mind. Now, 95% of what you’re doing in your life, what I’m doing in my life, is run by my subconscious mind. That is why it is so incredibly important to pay attention to the way that you’re thinking and to focus on what you’re saying and what you’re thinking, what your emotions are, what you’re attaching to, and what you’re connecting to so that you can shift them.

This is a little bit harder than going straight into what I do, which is hypnosis, where we can rewire and reprogram your subconscious mind for elevated thoughts. Focusing on what you want is a little bit harder, but it’s not impossible. Okay? So if you want to work with me, and you want to dive into what we can do to peel back all these layers of the negative self-talk, peel back all the layers of the stress and the anxiety and the frustration and you telling yourself you can’t have what you want, and shifting into the elevated dots that match the path that you want, we can do that. You can connect with me at rebeccawiener.com, or you can schedule a consultation with me at callwithrebecca.com.

Paying Attention

At the same time, if you want to work on this yourself beginning now, please work on this beginning now. Pay attention to what’s happening in your mind. Now, this will be imperfect, right? Because you’re not just going to sit all day and focus on what’s happening in your mind. You’re taking action in your life, you’re going to your business, you’re doing your work, you are leading your groups, you’re leaving your team, you’re doing all of these things. So allow yourself to be imperfect; do not get freaked out if this is imperfect. Because perfection does not exist here. Even robots need to be rebooted. Okay, give yourself a breath.

As you are paying attention to what it is that you’re trying to create in your life, there are beliefs attached to your subconscious mind as to whether or not you can have it. And the reasons why you can have it or why you can’t. You affirm these beliefs with your self-talk. So if you have a tendency toward getting upset with yourself, feeling shame, feeling doubt, feeling blame, feeling like you can’t quite connect with what you’re trying to create for yourself. And it may be a feeling. It may be a new situation, it may be a next level of income, it may be writing your book, it may be starting your business. Wherever you are, pay attention to how you’re thinking about it. The ways that you’re thinking about it, the ways that you’re talking about it. Amplify the beliefs that are already happening in your brain, and you can begin to shift things by speaking about them differently with lots of passion.

Neutralizing Obstacles

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend, and I believe my assumption about us humans, and all of you is that you are a spiritual being having a human experience. I believe that that is what I am to a spiritual being having a human experience. And in this assumption that you came into this world as a loving baby, trusting, and only later did you start being programmed with fears based on what you learned in your life, in your experiences, in your circumstances, in your family, in your school, in society, from the media, etc. Now, this person who I respect so much has a situation going on in their life, and they said No, I am not naturally loving. I’m not naturally calm. I’m not naturally trusting. I have this situation going on, and that means that I cannot relax. I cannot create in a way that other people create. I cannot do things the way other people can. Now, if you’ve been listening to me for any amount of time, you can recognize that this kind of self-talk only strengthens the bond that the body and the mind have with that particular condition. Now, this is not me calling her out. This is me calling her forward. Because it is so valuable, so important for you to know that it is within your power to be the person that you want to be and to choose differently for yourself, to choose freedom. So, if you are dealing with a condition. So, very often I hear people when they reach out to me they talk to me about different things that are happening in their lives, right? They are dealing with migraines, they are dealing with chronic tension, they’re dealing with anxiety, they’re dealing with PTSD. They’ve had trauma. And they will use the word “my” in front of all of those things: my migraines, my trauma, my anxiety. And you can imagine what happens because your brain believes you.

Anytime that you use the word my in front of those things, the attachment to that feeling grows stronger and stronger. Because we are hearty humans, and we love our possessions. Most of them, right? And it is so valuable for our brain to hold on to anything that we connect to with the words “my.” So, as you are paying attention to your language, paying attention to your emotions, I want you to release the word “my” from any condition that you might have. If it is my plantar fasciitis, my ingrown toenail, my hangnail, my split ends, whatever it is, release the attachment between that feeling, that condition, that state, and the word “my.” Just replace “my” with “the”: the split ends, the migraines, the anxiety, the autism, whatever it is. Some of these things will play out the way they’re going to play out based on your beliefs, right? Now, what’s important here is that you don’t need to attach or even identify yourself fully with those things. And I know this is going to activate some people. It’s going to frustrate some people. I do not believe that you created the situation that you’re in. I do not believe that I created the situation that I was in, certainly not consciously. But you do have the ability to consciously make shifts that give you space between the thing that you’re dealing with and yourself so that you can begin to create a space for solutions. So give yourself a breath.

Now, as you’re thinking about what you would like to create in your life, you may have obstacles in your life. You may have things that stand in the way of what you want to create. That you believe stand in the way of what you want to create. Maybe it’s a circumstance, you know, the top two things that people talk about the most standing in the way of their goals are time and money. So, you can look at this, like anything else that I just mentioned: I can’t get to this place because I have this or because I don’t have this. And the second that you can set it up as this circumstance being a neutral thing in your life, you can start to create space around it. Maybe your next breakthrough is to neutralize; just think about it with neutral, without emotion, without attachment. That thing that you’ve been working around, completely neutralizing it. Where there’s no emotional tie, and allowing yourself to see the possibilities

As you are thinking about this thing, it’s really easy to be amplified in your emotion about it because you’ve been dealing with it for so long. This may take a little bit of practice. Your time and your effort. You’re worth it. So this thing that you’re dealing with, whatever it is; the migraine, the anxiety, the stress, the cancer, the effects of something that went on in your life, the trauma, whatever. I want you just to take a step back from it and allow it to be in front of you for a moment. Look at it, acknowledge it, acknowledge the impact it’s had on your life so far. And if you see it just in a slightly different way today, where you are not emotionally attached to it, you notice there’s space around it. There’s space for inspiration, there’s space for solutions, there’s space for more understanding, there’s space for Hmm. Opportunity.

Now, the people that I work with, so if you’re watching, if you’re listening, you probably love finding solutions. The people that I work with and connect with the most are amazing visionary leaders. And they are, you are transformational leaders, you are healers, you are so powerful with what you can create, that I know you don’t want this thing to stop you from creating more. And this thing that you can move around can create other opportunities for you. When we build a window to block out the rain, it also blocks out the sun. When we build a wall, let me rephrase, oh my gosh, when we build a wall to block out the rain, we also block out the sun. So when we build attention around this thing, this painful thing that’s happening in our lives, this frustrating thing that is happening in our lives, we build a wall to try to protect ourselves from it. So we give it lots of attention. This thing is on the other side of the wall. This thing is right there. It’s always right there. It’s so frustrating. It’s so painful; it hurts me. It uses so much of my energy. We know that that thing is always right there. But what’s happening is that we’re blocking out the opportunity for more good to come in. We’re blocking out the opportunity for solutions to come in because we’re giving this thing so much attention. Because it’s right there on the other side of the wall. 

Imagine now, and this is all happening, remember, because our subconscious mind loves it when we stay the same. Our subconscious mind loves it when we stay the same; it does not care about our happiness. So imagine now removing the wall, seeing the thing, but neutralizing your feelings about that experience, about that thing that seems to be in the center of your life all the time. When you shift from that thing being in the center of your life, you come back to being in the center of your life. You come back to being more in power. Give yourself a breath. Give yourself some peace. Give yourself some grace. Notice what’s coming up for you. Notice what’s happening for you. That thing is so full of energy and is so connected to emotions because of how you’ve been trained to think about it. And it may not have been you, you know, I don’t think it’s you. It’s the way that this thing has been treated, the way that it’s been talked about by other people, the way that it’s been talked about in the medical community. The way that it’s been impacting your life, the way that it’s shown up for you in the way that it’s impacted your life if you’re dealing with levels of trauma. Whatever this thing is holds so much energy, which means it holds so much of your attention. When you bring the attention back to your body, and you notice what’s happening in my body, what’s happening in my mind, how am I connecting my results today to that thing? And you start to shift and give yourself the energy back and think about what can I create with this energy now? Because I know you’re a powerful visionary leader, I know that you can create powerful things out of nothing. Because many of you have done it, starting a business, starting a school, starting training programs, starting things from nothing.

If you neutralize that thing and you come back to yourself, you have so much wisdom, so much knowledge, so much understanding of the way it has been that you can begin to shift to the way that you want it to be. My clients have dealt with horrific trauma, terrible medical conditions. Feeling stalled, feeling stuck in their careers. Feeling unsafe to really be who they are with their gifts. They’ve felt anxiety that came seemingly out of nowhere. Different conditions are present all the time, and these people are powerful. So powerful that within just a few short weeks, sometimes even a few short hours, things can shift so dramatically. And because I know it happened for them, I know it can happen for you. And I want it to happen for you. I want you to have every single thing that you want.

Another Language Focus

As you are releasing the “my” from your life, I also want you to really pay close attention to any words that you put after the words “I am.” Once again, the brain connects to this so powerfully because “I am,” and whatever fills in is a fact to your brain. And if you’re a spiritual person, you have paid attention and heard about the “I am the great I am,” right? And knowing this, coupled with the fact that your brain connects the “I Am” and whatever you fill in as a fact about who you are, is your perfect opportunity to release anything negative from the end of that sentence. You will notice a very simple one is “I am tired.” Every time you say the phrase “I am tired,” your brain will actually start to shut your body down more. And every time that you are in a cycle of stress, every time that you are in a day where you are working your tail off, and you had to do one of those days the day before, and you’ll probably have to do one of those days the next day. And you start buying into “I am tired,” your body will create those circumstances for you so swiftly. So when you’re thinking about what you are and what you want to be, use the very best words. Your brain will believe you. At least in the short term. This is not a way to live, by the way. If you’re exhausted, if you’re burning out, if there are things that are happening to you. If you’re dealing with anxiety, these things will happen in the short term, but you’ve got to create a plan to heal for the long term. Okay? Love an honor where you are in your body, what’s happening for yourself, and take the steps that you need to take when you can take them. You’re the decider. You’re the boss of everything.

Using a different example. I am broke. I am stuck. I am frustrated. When you say those words, it’s like digging in the trench even deeper. It’s like getting deeper into the rut. So, allow yourself to begin to shift into new phrases. I’m in control. I am powerful. I am a solution-finder. I am the boss of my own life. I am a powerful creator. I create transformation. You can see where, as you say that, your mind will spin into other things that are important to you. I’m always strapped for time. I’m always late. I’m always behind the eight ball. Those kinds of statements, you can shift so easily. I’m getting better and better. I’m getting stronger and stronger. I’m getting faster and faster at getting myself ready so I can get out the door on time in the morning. Whatever it is that you’re trying to focus on, your brain believes what you are saying. So be super loving with yourself, super kind to yourself, and give your brain what it needs to create the outcome that you want.

At a minimum, if you can take anything from this experience today. I want you to release judgment of yourself. Release judgment of the way that it’s been. Release judgment of the people who told you that it had to be a certain way. Release judgment of your subconscious mind. Release judgment of where you are with your goals. And create a new, fresh stance with yourself right now. A new, fresh perspective with yourself right now. And allow yourself to create new outcomes by paying attention to the way that you’re speaking to yourself and about yourself.

Your Effective Immediately Mindshift

We’re gonna go into some more of these strategies next week. But for right now, going back to that shopping cart metaphor. Think about this: your brain being the fulfillment center for the shopping app that you’re using. Imagine this: if my brain were to bypass the shopping cart and give me exactly what I’m asking for, what I’m talking about, what I am speaking into existence, would I want it? And if the answer is ‘no,’ take a pause, take a moment, and rephrase. You hear me do it on a livestream, right? Where I say the wrong thing, and I have to go back and fix it. You’re allowed to do that with your thoughts. You’re allowed to do that with your words. Pay close attention to what’s happening in your brain and your body. Notice if you like the way that you feel, and if you don’t, if you’re moving toward a different goal, speak into that goal. Connect your brain to that goal. Connect your brain to that vision. And maybe today, I gave you a whole new perspective that you didn’t even know that you could have. That you can neutralize that thing that has been a sticking point for you and you can actually move around it. And you can move through it. And allow yourself to have what you want, even though that thing has occurred in your life.

If that’s brand new information for you, soak it in. Let this be a moment of excitement for you that you can create what you want because you have the power to do that because your brain believes you.

Alright, thank you so much for being with me today. I really appreciate you. I have opened another four spots for my private one-on-one Elevated Leader program, where I help you release anxiety, stress, stuck patterns and elevate your thinking, your emotional patterns, your standards, and behaviors. So you can have what you want and share your gifts with the world, and feel the success and income levels that you want as well.

I would love for you to reach out to me through rebeccawiener.com. You can DM me wherever you see this video. Or you can connect with me for a consultation at callwithrebecca.com

Have a beautiful week. Take such good care of your thinking. Take such good care of your brain. And I’ll see you next time. Bye for now.

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About the Author:

Rebecca Wiener McGregor, also known as The Anxiety Eraser, is a seasoned transformational hypnotist, trauma healer, and abundance coach. Since 2004, she guides visionary women to break free from anxiety, blocks, traumas, and fears, leading them to a life filled with abundance and purpose. Through her book “Loving Her” and work with conscious women executives, leaders, coaches, and healers worldwide, Rebecca sparks profound transformations, helping her clients embrace their true selves and create impactful, joyful, fulfilling lives.

To schedule an intro call click here.

For speaking and podcasting appearances: love@rebeccawiener.com