Ready to level up? Sense some metamorphosis in the air?
Hey, beautiful human, it’s me, Rebecca Wiener McGregor, the Anxiety Eraser, and I’m here with another episode of Effective Immediately, the show where we talk healthy mindset, healthy emotions, abundance, leadership, and I give you a mindset shift that you can make effective immediately.
All right, let’s have a conversation about shedding old identities. Now, what are old identities? What are identities anyway? Who you are right now is exactly who you needed to be, to get right where you are right now. The beliefs that you have, the ideas that you have, the purpose that you have inside of you, all of that got you to the level that you are. And you’re probably watching this because you’re longing to get to the next level, you’re desiring more for yourself, you’re desiring greatness for yourself, your next level of greatness. So who do you need to become? Who do you need to become to be that next level? Or maybe the level after that? Maybe there’s a part of you, probably a part of you, that has a very big vision for the life that you want. And who you are now probably isn’t capable of supporting that. Now, I’m not saying who you are now, isn’t wonderful and magical and completely talented and capable. You have that inside of you already. Right? There are many parts inside of you that got you right to where you are. I’m not really talking about your characteristics. I’m talking more about how you identify yourself, how you think of yourself, and the belief systems that you have. Okay?
As always, we’re going to be talking about the ego. We’re going to be talking about your spirit. We’re going to be talking about how the ego loves to keep you in the same and in a similar and does not care about your happiness, okay? And when I talk about ego, I’m not talking about the part of yourself that, you know, people talk about being full of themselves or something like that. I’m talking about the part of you that wants to keep you safe and alive. The part of your mind that wants to keep you safe and alive. And this part of you is so focused on keeping you safe and alive. It does not give a flying fig about your happiness, your big vision, your big desire, the impact you want to leave in the world. It doesn’t care about your legacy. It doesn’t care about the ripples that you want to make. It only cares about keeping you safe. And what does that mean? We always talk about this. It means keeping you in the familiar, keeping you actually being quite predictable. Predictable. Keeping you in the same thoughts, keeping you in the same beliefs, keeping you in the same identities. Because that’s what’s worked so far to keep you alive, right? Let’s keep doing the same thing, even if it is comfortably uncomfortable so that you can stay alive, so that you can stay safe. But your spirit is inside of you longing to be something more, do something more, create something more. And you’ve probably white-knuckled it. You’ve probably pushed yourself. You’ve probably fought yourself to get to where you are right now. But there is an easier way. There’s an easier way to do this.
Let’s Collect Some Data
So let’s look at identities today. Okay? Once again, who you are right now is wonderful. I’m not saying that the identities that you’ve taken on are bad. So I don’t want you to be in a state of judgment. As always, I want you to be in a state of curiosity, be in a state of exploration. And let’s collect some data. Okay? You are a combination of identities; who you decided to be for yourself, who you decided to be for others, and who you thought you needed to be to become a leader, a teacher, a healer, a practitioner, whatever kind of transformational leader you are. That’s how you got to where you are. You decided to be who you thought you needed to be. Along with that, in your childhood, you started being the way other people needed you to be in order to feel safe, in order to feel loved, in order to feel accepted, and to not be rejected. Take that in for a moment.
Now let me just give you a really basic example of how this can show up. Growing up, one time, she said she wanted to be a doctor. And her family reacted and thought, oh my gosh, she’s going to be the first doctor in our family. This is going to be amazing. We’re so proud of her that she’s chosen this, and maybe she’s three or four or five or six years old. She’s really little right? But she kept hearing the accolades. She kept hearing how wonderful and how everyone was so proud of her that she wanted to be a doctor, that she grew into this identity when she grew up, when she went to college, and when she went to high school, and that whatever she did, she had to go with the end goal, the end game of becoming a doctor. And because she said that, one time around the dinner table, when someone asked was having a conversation or asked her who she wanted to be when she grew up, she said a doctor. And she felt the acceptance. She felt the love. Now this can happen in different ways in different people’s families. But think about this, think about maybe how this has happened for you where you ended up being something because it felt good to other people that you became that person.
She grows up, and she makes A’s all through high school, all through her whole college, her whole college career, everything. She becomes a doctor. She gets in her residency. She does her fellowship. She feels complete torture at this job. She loves the idea of helping people. And the only way she knew to help people at that young age was to become a doctor. So she became a doctor. But being a doctor wasn’t what she thought it was going to be. She thought of the small-town doctors that she saw in the movies and TV shows when she was little and she thought she was going to have all the time in the world to take care of people. And when she grew up, she learned that she’d have about 10 or 15 minutes with these people. And that’s great for some physicians, right? But it wasn’t great for her. So she grew up with this identity of needing to be a doctor because that’s what felt good to everybody else. It felt pretty good to her. It felt like a good idea at the time. But she grew up and held on to this identity of being a doctor.
She doesn’t really want to be a doctor. She sees healing in a different way. She has different gifts and different modalities that she’s learned along the way that she values even more than traditional medicine. So think about that for your life. And think about this once again with curiosity. Where have you held on to any identity or created an identity around making other people feel comfortable? Would I have chosen hypnosis? Would I have chosen to become a hypnotist if that was going to make everybody around me comfortable? No, most people thought it was very strange or that I would make them cluck like a chicken, right? So what did I choose? I had chosen before that to become a family therapist. That felt comfortable, that felt safe. But when I got done with school, it wasn’t the right thing for me. When I was in graduate school, it wasn’t moving the way I wanted it to. But when I learned about hypnosis, this was something that I felt in my core. So this was an identity I chose for myself.
Now, as I have been a hypnotist for almost 20 years, almost 20 years isn’t that amazing? I’ve got to celebrate myself a little bit for making it this far. Who I want to be next level is going to require me to take on a new identity. An identity of a certain kind of leader, a certain kind of business owner, a certain kind of healer, transformational specialist. So I want you to think about this for yourself. What identities have you taken on? And how far have they gotten you? They’ve gotten you right to this place, right? And then you developed new identities, new pieces of you, that taught you new gifts, new ways of helping, new ways of healing, new ways of transforming, new ways of leading. And as you did that, you noticed that your imagination began to expand. And you want more which is great because we’re designed for more! We’re designed for growth. We are ever-expanding beings. So as you are thinking about your expansion, what kind of identity will you need to be, will you need to have for you to get to the next level?
Getting to the Next Level
If you have been dabbling, right? You’ve kind of taken on the identity, probably. And this is all said with love, no judgment, that this is like something that you can do on the side until you get things going. Until there’s an opportunity for you to leave your nine-to-five job. This is something that you do as a hobby, and you give things to people, and maybe you’ve taken on the identity that your gifts, being spiritual, are something that you could never charge for. Because that just doesn’t feel right for you. So you’ve taken on the identity that you’re going to be one of those people who shares their gift on the side, but they’re not really going to get paid for it. And that has a whole set of consequences. And we’re actually going to talk about that next week. So you’ve been dabbling, right? So you’re not showing up as the transformational leader that you want to be yet. Okay? Be very gentle with yourself as we talk about this, okay? Be loving. Be in a state of acknowledgment, collecting the data and looking at it with yourself and the data with love. Okay? Maybe you have started your business, and you have reached a place where you’re at like you’re bringing in like 50k a year. And that’s great from where you started, right? Everyone who starts a business starts from zero. Everyone who starts anything starts from zero. So now you’re at 50k. And you are like settled in, and, okay, I can do, I can bring in some money with my business. I can bring in some cash, some flow. But things are always going to be just a little hard for me. Because, you know, maybe the people that I’m working with don’t value my work as much as I do. Maybe I’m scared to charge the rates that I need to charge in order to have the life I want. So that’s where you’ve come, you’ve come to this place where my business is around 50k, and this is the kind of leader I am. And I work with this many people a year. And this is the level of impact I make. You’ve started to identify yourself there. Maybe you’ve reached the other side of 100k, the coveted 100k place, right? And you have got here with grit, you’ve pushed, and you’ve strived, and you’ve figured it out. And you think that this is the place that feels comfortable. You thought 100k was going to be great. But you’re noticing that you want more. So right now, you’re identifying yourself as a 100k business owner. And this is the set number of people that you can impact every year. This is the set number of income that you have each month, these are your expenses. And this feels comfortable to me and to my family because I’m not out there too much talking about my gifts. My visibility is comfortable for me at this level. But there’s this sneaky part of you, your spirit, that wants more. She wants so much more. So as you might be thinking about your identity around what level of business you are in multiple six figures, even in the seven figures and beyond. You may have got to where you got it might almost feel like an accident how you got so far. So you may not have noticed the identity that you’re holding about it.
Who will you need to be? How will you need to identify yourself for your next level? Will you need to think of yourself as a true healer? Will you need to acknowledge your gifts that you have healing gifts? Will you need to call yourself a healer? Will you need to call yourself a transformational leader? Will you need to become that version of yourself that you want to be in order to get to where you’re going? You know the answer. So, I want you to start looking at all the identities that you’ve created for yourself. I want you to notice the identities that you’ve taken on for society to make other people comfortable. I want you to look at the identities that you’ve held on to for yourself to feel safe. You know, if I just dabble here, then I’m not really rocking the boat for anybody. If I just do my stuff on the side and I don’t call so much attention to myself, then that’s okay. Now I’ve expanded, and I’ve done just as much as I can while my family still feels comfortable, my religious community still feels comfortable, my spiritual community still feels comfortable. My kids still feel comforted with what I’m doing, but if I want to expand, and I need to take on an additional identity, a new identity, then maybe I leave the identity that I’m just a whatever behind. My business just is this. All these things that you’ve taken on as identities. I’m the dabbler, you know, I’ve got these gifts. People come to me, they find me, but that’s not really my thing because this is what brings in the money for me. Or I’ve left my nine to five. So now I’m a business owner. I’m a small business owner. And I recognize that there are levels and that that’s a definition by those, you know, SBA and all that stuff. But I want you to think about what it would mean to you to start peeling back the layers of identities that you’ve carried. Start looking at your feelings, start looking at your belief systems, and peeling back the layers of things that no longer serve you.
This might scare the hell out of you. It can be scary to think about leaving the old ways behind. The ego is going to flare up and say, “Oh, no, don’t do this. Don’t make these moves. Don’t do this. Stay right where you are.’ Stay comfortable, stay uncomfortably comfortable, because that will make you safe. It’ll make it very confusing to even think about who you want to be or what kind of goals, or how can you start? Or how can you move to the next level? How can you get to multiple six figures? How can you get close to 500k? How can you get to a million or beyond? It’ll make it very confusing for you. Because it doesn’t want you to move in that direction.
I’m letting you know right now that the anxiety that comes up, maybe the anxiety that you’ve held, the exhaustion, the from the pushing, that can all be moved to the side. I specialize in helping people remove the anxiety, release resistance to the dream. So they can have what they want, make their next visibility leap, their next income leap, their next expansion with ease and flow. You can book a call with me at rebeccawiener.com or callwithrebecca.com. Or you can DM me wherever you see this message.
Think about looking at what your genuine aspirations are for your life, not the thing that you’ve gotten yourself into because it feels right. Or because it felt right for a while. But what do you really want to be? Where do you really want to be? And I want you to think about who you need to become. What identity do you need to take on in order for you to become that person that you want? That next-level leader, that next-level healer. And just think about it for a moment. Exploring these layers of shedding these old identities and unraveling these layers that no longer align with our vision, this is a big deal. Do you know, many people stay in their lives, in the status quo, doing everything the same way every day and never thinking about any of this? Because it’s scary or because they didn’t know. They’re not wrong for that. Maybe they just didn’t know. And now you know. Now you can build on this awareness of how you’re thinking of yourself and who you want to be, and I want you to know that it is okay for you to let go of those old identities. It doesn’t mean that you stop being kind or stop being generous, but maybe you do it in a different way. A way that helps your vision rather than holding you back from your vision or keeping you steady.
Okay, take that in for a moment. You’re going to notice, too, with this new awareness and you thinking about how you’ve identified yourself, who you are, what’s happening, what are you creating at this level that you may not want to change it may be too scary. But choosing to stay where you are because of fear because it might rock the boat of other people is going to hinder your happiness if it hasn’t already. And I say all this with complete love. Because I want you to have the vision, that sneaky vision that you hold in your heart. I want you to have the life and the business, and the impact and the expansion that you crave. That part of you that’s like, scared to put into words what she really wants. That’s the part I want you to allow to get louder. I want you to help her speak the words, I want you to help her put one foot in front of the other. And release the old idea that she’s just a dabbler. Release the old idea that she’s just a 100k business. She’s just a healer. She just has these gifts. I want you to release those identities, the identities that you’ve kept, that are holding you down or holding you back. And I want you to step into the identity of I am a powerful healer. This is how I impact the world. This is the big vision, and I’m walking toward that vision. And I am looking at my belief systems. And I am recognizing I have a fear around charging more to get to the next level for my gifts. Because I’m worried about what people will think of me because I charge X amount of dollars for my gift. Or I’m scared of what will happen to me if I decide to go full force into this and say I want to uplevel to 500k. Maybe I have a belief that the only way I can get there is how I got here. And that was by maxing out my hours, maxing out my bandwidth, being completely exhausted. That’s not the way it has to be. When you look at your beliefs, when you look at the identities that you have taken on that got you here. The reason you’re not where you want to be is because of these identities because of these beliefs. When you start to notice and recognize these aspects of yourself, these belief systems and these stories and these old programs that say, Well, if I do this, I need to do this. The only way here is to go through this. The only way to have a breakthrough is to be flattened. The only way to heal is to go through pain. The only way up is hard. Making more money is hard. I don’t even know how to do it. That confusion comes up, right?
What kind of beliefs, what kind of identity would you need to take on for yourself to think about getting to that 500k place? Getting to that 250k place? Getting to that million-dollar business? One belief right off the bat is that if you have the desire in your heart, the way capital T capital W “The Way” is there for you to have it. God doesn’t put desires in your heart without a way for you to have them. If something feels good and right and natural to you, it can be yours. The first thing you have to do is both shift your belief that you can have it and allow yourself to be in the curiosity of how it could happen. What beliefs what I need to have in place, start to have to believe that you could have a 500k business? You start to think about shedding those old anxieties, those old exhaustion, the old confusion that you’ve carried, the old stuff, the sadness, or the grief or the feelings of hurt from a betrayal that have been holding you back and taking all your energy so that you can’t shift your belief system. So that you can’t feel worthy of what you want. So you can’t create what you want. Without it being very hard without being very exhausting. And you could do this, and you can have more fun. Yes, fun is a value that you’re allowed to have even. That your healing business, your transformational business. Your leadership can be fun, it can be light, it can be incredibly fulfilling and financially rewarding. You really can have all of that and still have a life with deep connections, wonderful vacations, time with your family. Maybe even taking the whole month of December off to watch Hallmark movies.
Whatever it is that you want to do. Whatever it is in your heart, you can create yourself to have it. Shift your values if you need to. And when I talk about shifting your values, what I mean is choosing the values that align truly with your spirit, not values you’ve taken on from your family. Not values you’ve taken on from your community. Not values you’ve taken on from society, the media, or even your culture. You get to honor that those got you where you are. And now, maybe working hard is the only way that you can get far is not a value anymore. That being focused and having fun, and allowing yourself to connect with people, maybe that’s the new value that gets you further. You get to decide which ones make sense to you. You get to decide that, okay, my belief system says that I have to work around the clock to get to 100k. So now, if I want to get to 500k, I have to work around five clocks. No. You get to find a different way to leverage your business. You get to find a different way to scale your business. You get to find a different way to use your money and your time, and your impact to get to where you want. Maybe you have a belief that if it’s going to be done, you’re the one who has to do it. Here’s your opportunity to notice, maybe now I can learn to trust other people and trust bringing the right people into my life to help me grow further. And you get to do it step by step, peeling back a layer at a time, peeling back an old identity. I really identified myself as just this starving artist and now I get to be an artist, I get to be a creator, I get to be a healer who is well paid. Maybe you’ve identified yourself as the martyr, the one who gives until it hurts all the time. And you realize that that’s exhausting and painful, and you’re not feeling a sense of purpose or fulfillment anymore. And releasing the identity of the martyr will allow you to take on the identity of the fulfilled healer who honors her gifts, who honors this journey, and she works with people who appreciate her gifts, value her time, and respect her energy. These are all things that you get to choose for yourself.
Your Effective Immediately Moment
As you are moving through your week. As you are moving through this week, I want you to think about and this is your effective immediately moment for the week, okay? As you are making decisions for yourself, for your business, for your future, I want you to ask yourself the question, what identity am I making this decision from? What belief system am I making this decision from? And ask yourself, is this the most advantageous belief that I can have at this moment, the most beneficial belief that I can have at this moment? Or is there a better one? Is there a more beneficial belief? Is there a more beneficial identity that I can hold right now that when I make this decision and I walk the steps into this decision that, I can have what I want faster, easier, without exhaustion, and with a lot more joy and fulfillment? Ask yourself those questions. Listen for the answers. And be super gentle with yourself in the process. Even considering this right now, you are starting to break the old belief systems and the old identities.
So listen again, reach out for help. I’m here. You can look me up at rebeccawiener.com. You can connect with me and schedule a call at callwithrebecca.com, and I will help you release the old beliefs. Release the anxiety, the frustration, the exhaustion, the burnout that you felt this far so that you can get to your next income leap, your next business leap, your next level of impact. Your next expansion. I’m here for you. Have a wonderful week, and I’ll see you next time. Bye for now.
About the Author:
Rebecca Wiener McGregor, also known as The Anxiety Eraser, is a seasoned transformational hypnotist, trauma healer, and abundance coach. Since 2004, she guides visionary women to break free from anxiety, blocks, traumas, and fears, leading them to a life filled with abundance and purpose. Through her book “Loving Her” and work with conscious women executives, leaders, coaches, and healers worldwide, Rebecca sparks profound transformations, helping her clients embrace their true selves and create impactful, joyful, fulfilling lives.
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