Have you ever felt like an invisible force was holding you back from all of your desires? Today, we’re going to unmask that unconscious saboteur. 

Beautiful human, it is me, Rebecca Wiener McGregor. Welcome to another episode of Effective Immediately, the show where we talk mindset, healthy emotions, abundance, leadership. And I give you a mindset shift that you can make effective immediately. 

Today, we’re going to talk about all the sneaky little ways that our subconscious mind will stop us from having our desires. We’re going to start to unravel the mystery of how our subconscious mind stops us from seemingly safe things. But our subconscious mind might see it a completely different way. We have our conscious mind, and we have our subconscious mind. There are other parts of our mind, but these are the ones we’re going to talk about today. So, the conscious mind is our thinking mind. The one that thinks about, Okay, this is what I want, this is the goal I have, these are the steps that I’m going to take to have the goal. That’s your conscious mind. Your subconscious mind is running 95% of your beliefs, your thoughts, and your behaviors. 95%. We’ve talked about this a little bit before. And today, we’re gonna dive into some of the ways that it might be showing up for you so that you can notice and deal with whatever is coming up, standing in your way so that you can have your dream. 

The subconscious mind can be a very powerful ally when it’s on our side, right? And it can sometimes subtly sabotage our dreams because it is the storehouse of all of our past experiences. The subconscious mind holds within it every experience that you’ve had, every moment, every flinch, every experience, positive or negative, bad, good; however you want to define it. And it creates beliefs based on those experiences and then those beliefs are stored in the subconscious mind as well. So that when we are operating from our experiences, it will stop us, stall us, or make it just a little bit more difficult for us to have what we want. Or it will help us along. It can be a very powerful, as I said, and when it’s not working with us, we definitely can feel it. 

Time to Start Collecting Data

I want you to think about a dream that you’ve had for yourself. Something that you’ve been trying to create. And you’ve been pushing and pushing and pushing, and you’re not getting where you want to go. Okay, remember, on this show, we collect data, we don’t judge. We acknowledge we don’t judge. So think about the dream that you’ve had for yourself, something that you’ve been trying to create for yourself. What is that thing? I want you to think about it with curiosity today. Because we’re curiously collecting data, we’re not judging. And as we go through, I’m going to share with you some different ways that your subconscious mind might be blocking you. And the reason I’m talking about this is because my specialty is helping you release subconscious blocks. My specialty is helping you to release anxiety and any resistance to the dreams that you have in your life so that you can have them quickly and easily. Okay. 

This belief or this dream that you want. The things that may be holding you back subconsciously are these hidden beliefs. Let’s talk first about limiting beliefs, these hidden beliefs in your subconscious mind. These are formed in our childhood. So if you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s, or maybe beyond, and you have this dream, there may be something that was formed in your childhood that is holding you back. Now, I want to go into this a little bit. I mean, I could actually talk about this every episode for the rest of the year, and we wouldn’t finish talking about limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs are those under the surface, unconscious beliefs that we have that we can have what we want. First, there may be an obvious belief that, you know, I’m just not built for the thing that I want. I just can’t have the success that I want. That success just isn’t meant for me. These kinds of beliefs can come from a moment in our childhood when something happened to us or around us. And the thing that happened shifted our beliefs about our value. 

The Impact of Childhood Beliefs

Hold on, a belief from our childhood could stop us from having what we want now? Yes, most of our beliefs are set in place before we’re age eight. And then any trauma that we go through after that also adds fuel to the fire. It adds to those beliefs about what is possible for us, what we deserve, what we’re capable of, and so on. So you may have had a moment. Let’s just think about this in a very simple way. You may have had a moment when something happened to you or to your family when you were young, and it created a shift in you. Oh, that’s how we operate in this family. And along with that, you may have heard someone, one of your family members, say, Oh, yeah, well, that’s just like something that happens in our family: we’re cursed. And then you may have heard someone else say I guess that success is just not meant for this family. Or, you know, nobody in our family has ever been successful. And then you start to believe this unconsciously. It’s not that you write it down and you start thinking, Okay, this is my new belief. When we’re children, we’re sponges. And those beliefs happen so quickly. We notice the people who are around us, the people we love and respect, having certain thoughts having certain beliefs because they speak them. And you know, we notice unconsciously how they operate in certain situations. And we think, Okay, well, I love and respect them, and they believe this. This is my new belief. It doesn’t happen consciously. It doesn’t happen where you’re thinking, Okay, this belief is happening around me. So, I’m going to start believing it. It happens very quickly, in a millisecond, in your unconscious subconscious mind. That stinks, right? But we don’t learn about how to deal with our emotions until we really are learning that something is blocking us, something is keeping us from what we want, or there’s an anxiety that’s present, or depression is present, or something that is creating a block. Okay, so let’s look at this just a little bit deeper. 

You have these unconscious beliefs that are cycling around your family. We can’t have what we want. Success isn’t meant for our family. Well, no one in our family even, you know, we’ve heard things where people said no one in my family graduated high school, no one in my family graduated college, no one in my family ever became a millionaire. No one in my family ever started their own business. All of these stories. All of these stories that we are carrying around, become beliefs in our subconscious mind. Then we have moments where we think, okay, things are going to be different for me because your spirit is pulling you forward, wanting you to create something for yourself. And along with that, those old beliefs from your childhood, you’ve had your own experiences that told you, hmm, maybe everyone was right. You go to school, and maybe you don’t get a concept, and someone makes fun of you for not being able to answer the question, or the teacher shames you, or something happens at school, or something happens with your friends. And all of those things start to add to the belief that you’re not as valuable as you thought you were. And maybe everybody is right. Maybe I’m not very valuable. Maybe I’m not very smart. Maybe I am not really a great person like I thought I was. Maybe I don’t deserve what I want. Maybe I can’t really have the things that I want. Because while all this stuff is going on inside of me, all these beliefs are present inside of me. You can start to see how this will add up, right? Remember, we are just here with curiosity to look at our beliefs. So, if you’re feeling any kind of tension or anxiety in your body, put your hand on your heart, and give yourself some love. Because this this is the stuff that once you break through all of this, you can start to create amazing results for yourself. It’s incredibly powerful. All right. 

Don’t Believe Everything You Think

We have all of these beliefs running under the surface, right, telling us what we can have, what we can’t have, who we can be, who we can’t be. We have all these experiences, adding to those beliefs, because we’re living our lives, and we’re making mistakes, and we’re screwing up, and we’re messing up, and we’re failing. None of that actually means we’re bad. But we can start to take on these ideas that were bad, and we’re not as good as other people. So and So doesn’t screw up like I do. My big sister doesn’t screw up like I do. My little brother doesn’t screw up like I do. I can start to create all these sorts of beliefs about who I am based on what’s happening around me and what’s happening to me. And they can whittle away at what I believe about myself.

Give yourself a pause. Give yourself a break here. So all this stuff circulating here, right? We have all this stuff circulating. And then on top of that, when we start to move, we’re deciding anyway, Okay, I’m going to do the things that I want to do. I’m going to move forward. I’m going to take a step. I’m going to do the thing. We find out that our subconscious mind loves the comfort zone. We’ve heard so many times how amazing things happen when we step out of our comfort zone. Amazing things happen when we step out of our box, right? Amazing things happen when we get uncomfortable. But our subconscious mind loves comfort because comfort feels safe to our subconscious mind. So this is another way that our subconscious mind can subtly get in there and start to sabotage us because the moment that we start to get uncomfortable moving toward our desires, our subconscious mind can start tapping us on the shoulder. It can start creating feelings inside of us, giving us amazing, amazing physical responses that usually are known as anxiety, depression, or anger. Some kind of resistance that will stop us. Every time I do this thing, I notice that my chest gets heavy. Every time I want to public speak, I get sick to my stomach, and I can’t do it. That is the subconscious mind creating discomfort. Trying to stop you from stepping out into the great unknown. The subconscious mind does not like the unknown at all. So it will tell us all kinds of stories about what we’re capable of doing and what we’re safe doing. And it’ll stop us. It will create actual physical responses. 

Here’s what’s important for you to know. Those physical responses, the responses of anxiety, depression, rage, those are not just in your head. Your belief system will create actual physical responses in your body, tightening of your chest, gripping of your stomach, tension on your neck and shoulders, pressure in your head, racing thoughts, all of those things are real. And other things can happen too. Palms get sweaty. I’ve had clients who their feet get really sweaty when they’re nervous. Whatever the case may be, I want you to give yourself a nice big breath and acknowledge that this is what the subconscious mind does. It is trying to keep you safe. It only cares about your safety. We talk about this all the time, right? Your subconscious mind does not give a flying fig about your dreams. It cares about keeping you safe. It’s your spirit that is pulling you forward. It’s your spirit that wants you to create. It’s your spirit that wants you to make the impact. It’s your spirit that wants you to grow these amazing dreams in your life. Your subconscious mind doesn’t really want a lot of that to happen. Some of it, yes. But when you start making bigger leaps, it’ll start to create symptoms in your body that will tell you that it does not like you stepping out of your comfort zone. These are things that I can help with. So don’t worry about that. Right here where now what we’re doing is acknowledging and looking for the data with curiosity. 

Fear of Success? 

Here’s another one. This is a big one. Fear of failure or fear of success, and most people have both. And people say to me all the time, Rebecca, why on earth would I fear success? Well, it’s really obvious to fear failure, right? Because we’re not gonna really like the emotions that we have. We might not like the outcome, we might not like investing time and resources in ourselves to only to not have things turn out the way we want, we can really feel like a failure. And that right there is a scary place for the subconscious mind because it does not know how resilient we are. It does not know how crafty we are, it does not know that we will take the lessons that we learn and allow ourselves to go further and farther next time. Okay, so this fear of success, why would I be afraid of success? Why do you think, just for a moment, think about why would you be afraid of success? Think about that dream that you started this cal, this conversation with? Imagine having that. What would you be afraid of, and maybe this will activate something in you, some knowing, like, wow, I really am afraid of success. Often what happens for people who notice that they are having fears of success they worry about if a lot more money will make them a bad person. Because the villain in so many movies is really, really rich. They worry about whether or not they can handle the level of success that they’re desiring. Oh, if I grow my business, I’m going to need a bigger team. I’m gonna need more help. I’m going to need to get a bigger office. All that stuff is scary to the subconscious mind. Once again, it’s change. And the subconscious mind will trick us and ask us questions like, Oh, can you handle that? Could you handle that if you had to get more team? If you had to manage more people? If you had to get a bigger office? It will start to have you question your ability to manage success. But a really big thing for spiritual transformational entrepreneurs, the ones of you that I love to work with so much, you powerful leaders who are so spiritual, so loving, you worry that if you become wildly successful, that it will change you. I’ve witnessed so many people change, grow, allow themselves to have such massive success. Finally, after doing the work and moving the resistance, and what it does is actually amplify more of the good. When women especially make more money, they share it with their community, they do good things with it, they grow it, and they allow it to fuel themselves and their mission. It doesn’t change who they are. It just helps them become more of who they already are. Okay, give yourself another breath. 

The Inner Conflict Saboteur

Another way that the subconscious mind will show up as that saboteur is having inner conflict. It will create self-doubt like I just don’t know if I can do this. I don’t think this is possible. I am not sure that I have what it takes. And these things will just simply stop you or stall you. It won’t even be very obvious at all. It’ll just be when you notice that you have to do something for your business. You notice that you have to do something for yourself or your family, or something is going to move you forward, you’ll just stop yourself. You’ll decide that Netflix is more important that day. You’ll decide that the laundry is more important that day. Something will come up that you decide you absolutely have to handle instead of doing the things that you had on your list for yourself or for your business. Sometimes this inner conflict will show up as confusion. Ooh, I can’t decide what to do. I can’t decide to go left or right. I can’t decide if my book cover should be blue or green. I can’t decide if I should get help with this. I can’t decide if I can do this on my own. I can’t decide if my character’s name should be Susie or Sally. There will be this just a subtle level of confusion. And we’ll start to look for signs. We’ll start to look for signs, and we’ll wait for the signs to happen before we do anything. When in truth, signs come as confirmations of decisions we’ve already made. So sometimes you’ll notice it is as simple as choosing to make the decision. And yes, I said choosing to make the decision. To move past this inner conflict, this confusion, one will have to not wait for the sign. You will simply have to make a decision. A lot of what happens as we’re growing our businesses or we’re setting up ourselves for success in creating our legacy. It’s simply decisions that have to be made. It doesn’t matter if the book cover is blue or green. It doesn’t matter if the character’s name is Susie or Sally. These are just stalling points, little tactics for a subconscious mind to stand in our way, and weigh us down, keep us from moving forward. Okay? Give yourself another big breath.

This will often happen when there’s just a misalignment between our big desires, and those core beliefs that we were talking about that are built in our childhood. So this can manifest as procrastination, self-doubt, these little sabotaging behaviors like choosing the laundry over doing your task list. Choosing to do something insignificant, seemingly insignificant, that becomes very significant and important when you have big work to do or even small work to do. Small steps in the path. And we won’t think much of it because, Oh, well, I can put this off for later. It’s not that big of a deal. But one time that we do that one time that we give in to not doing the thing that we want to do, to giving into the stall, it’s easier next time for our subconscious mind to stall us. So if you notice that happens for you, you notice that you’re working on the big project, and some little light bulb in your mind goes off and says, Oh, I think I really want to check what the weather’s gonna be like for next weekend. Or I really need to check to make sure that my dogs are up to date on their shots. Write down the thing that you’re called to do, the little light bulb thing, the thing that your subconscious mind is trying to distract you with. Write it down, put it on your calendar, give yourself a breath, and move forward doing the thing that you need to do. This is a very powerful move. This is like the pro tip, the powerful move that you can make when your mind is trying to confuse you. Okay? Once again, we’re looking at all this with curiosity, not judgment, we’re acknowledging what’s happening so we can make the steps that we want, take the steps that we want to move forward. Okay. 

The Impact on Self-Worth

Another thing that our subconscious mind will do is that it will hold our self-image as our perception of worth. And what that means is anything that we think about ourselves, anything that we hold in a negative light, anything that has happened in the past, anything that we worry could happen in the future, we will have that chipping away at our self-worth. So this is a completely normal response of our subconscious mind. But it will say to us, remember that thing that happened? That means you’re not as worthy as you think you are. You know, that big goal that you have? That big dream that you have? That legacy of healing and transformation that you’re trying to create in the world or whatever it is you’re trying to create in the world? You know, I don’t think that can come from you. It won’t make a difference if it comes from you because these experiences that you’ve had in your life, you’re not as valuable as you think you are. You’re not as whatever as you could be. Fill in the blank. And it will have you picking apart your appearance. It will have you picking apart the things that you need to change about yourself before you can have success. Be super loving with yourself. Be super loving with yourself because all of this is coming from the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is an immature part of us stuck in those moments in childhood. I can help you get unstuck with that. We’ll talk about that in a moment. 

The other way that the subconscious mind will be super sneaky with us and sabotage us is it’ll have us repeat the same mistakes over and over. And especially if they’re counterproductive, right? I didn’t get married until I was 41. And before that, I dated very similarly, the same guy in a different outfit, the same guy with a different hairdo, the same guy with a different job. The same qualities. I would seem to look for the same kind of person over and over to date, and it didn’t ever quite work out. Because I was continuing to make the same mistake repeating the pattern of finding someone who wasn’t right for me. Not that they were bad. We were just a bad fit. Just not right for each other. And I need a certain kind of person in my life so that I’m at my best. We all need that, right? And very often our subconscious mind, this is a really easy one for relationships. We’ll keep dating the same person. We’ll keep marrying the same person over and over, thinking that we are going to create something new, right? And very often, the person will be a perfectly fine person but not perfect for us. And we’ll be in love with their potential. Whoa. Have you ever been in love with potential? Oh my gosh, I was in love with everybody’s potential, thinking that they could become the person that I wanted them to be. Then they would finally be perfect for me, right? They were perfect for somebody else, just not perfect for me. So dating the same person doing the same tasks, trying the same things over and over without changing it, will just have us unconsciously mess up at the same point in the task. In the same point of getting the thing done that we’re trying to create the big vision around, it’ll have us mess up at the same time. So we get to that point, the subconscious mind will create some little belief; it’ll tap us on the shoulder and say, right now, it’s about the time when you mess up. Right now is about the time when you screw something up. This can happen in relationships where people sabotage themselves by giving less attention to the relationship, stepping outside the relationship, deciding that they really don’t want to change their lives, and let anybody into their life for a relationship. You can see how these past mistakes just having them over and over again. And it really solidifies in our subconscious mind that we can’t have what we want. Because here we are, once again, trying to go over that thing, making the same mistake again. Or making the same mistake again, so this must mean something about us. So we’ll shut the whole thing down. It’s so sneaky, right? Remember, you’re looking at all of this with curiosity, looking at the data. There’s no reason to judge yourself because none of this makes you bad. None of this makes you a bad person. We’re just acknowledging how this undercurrent of subconscious beliefs can change us. Okay, so be really loving with yourself. Give yourself a hand on your heart. Give yourself a breath. Remind yourself that it is okay to be a human, a messy human who makes mistakes. It’s okay to learn from those mistakes, and it’s okay to move forward. And the only way that this can happen is that you love yourself enough to do the work, to acknowledge the behaviors, to acknowledge the beliefs, and to move yourself forward. All right. 

I work with transformational leaders, coaches, healers, and entrepreneurs to help them release anxiety and other subconscious blocks. So that they can build the dream relationships, business, income, and live the life of their dreams. If you want more information about how I can help you release anxiety or these subconscious blocks in 90 days or less, you can go to rebeccawiener.com. Or you can schedule a call with me right at callwithrebecca.com. Or wherever you see this, you can send me a DM as well. 

Your Effective Immediately Mindset Shift

Are you ready for your effective immediately mindset shift of the week? Okay. When you notice that you are being stopped. When you notice that your subconscious mind is stalling, creating confusion, creating those patterns when stepping out of my comfort zone, and it’s calling me back to my comfort zone. It’s distracting me. It’s telling me to go watch Netflix. It’s telling me to do the laundry. It’s calling me to make the same mistake again. Or I’m noticing that I just can’t love myself the way I am. I want you to put your hand on your heart. Give yourself a breath. And I want you to ask yourself, Do I feel safe right now to pursue my dream? And whatever comes up as you are answering that question will give you all sorts of answers. All you have to do is ask yourself the question, Do I feel safe to have my dream? Do I feel safe to pursue my dream? Either of those versions are fine. Or some version of it, asking yourself if you’re safe. Give yourself pause and then journal whatever comes up. You’ll notice subconscious blocks. You’ll notice some of the patterns that we talked about today. You’ll notice something coming up, maybe about your self-image, your worthiness, how you’ve made mistakes in the past how you might be scared of failing, you might be wildly scared of success and not even know it. But this will help you collect some of that data so that you can figure out how to move forward. 

Give yourself lots of love in this process. Always remember that you can collect lots of data. It doesn’t have to mean anything about you. But it will help to move yourself forward into the life of your dreams and get your vision board off the wall and into your reality. Okay, have a beautiful week. Be so kind to yourself. And I’ll see you next time. Bye for now.

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About the Author:

Rebecca Wiener McGregor, also known as The Anxiety Eraser, is a seasoned transformational hypnotist, trauma healer, and abundance coach. Since 2004, she guides visionary women to break free from anxiety, blocks, traumas, and fears, leading them to a life filled with abundance and purpose. Through her book “Loving Her” and work with conscious women executives, leaders, coaches, and healers worldwide, Rebecca sparks profound transformations, helping her clients embrace their true selves and create impactful, joyful, fulfilling lives.

To schedule an intro call click here.

For speaking and podcasting appearances: love@rebeccawiener.com