Have you ever felt yourself saying things like, or have the feeling of I’ll be happy when dot, dot dot, when the specific condition happens, or when I win the lottery, I will ___. Or when I get my next client, I will ___, or when I really get my business off the ground, I’ll do XYZ. What if I told you creating conditions on your desires actually causes you to hold yourself back from true abundance. We’re going to talk about this today. 

Hey, beautiful human, it’s me, Rebecca Wiener McGregor, and welcome to another episode of Effective Immediately, the show where we talk mindset, abundance, leadership, and I give you a mindset shift that you can make effective immediately. 

Today, I want to talk to you about releasing conditions from your desires. This is really important for you to recognize that when you have something on your heart that you want, you want to create some powerful thing in your life, that you notice how many barriers you have placed in front of it. And we’re going to talk about why this happens in just a moment. But I want you to recognize that this is the safety thing, right? This is one of those ways that our subconscious mind tries to block us and slow us down, that kind of thing. So, as always, I want you to look at this with curiosity and explore the data. This is not about being in judgment of yourself because the reason that I discovered this is because I was doing it myself. So, be very loving with yourself, and let’s just look at some of the ways this happens. And we’re going to look at some examples. And then, if you’re doing it, you can make the shift. 

Creating Obstacles

One of the things that we do is we create a condition around the thing that we want. We create an obstacle, something that has to happen before the big thing that we want gets to happen. Okay, maybe you’ve heard yourself say, oh, gosh, okay, I’m just going to use like the most obvious example; how many times if you live in a place where there’s a lottery, have you heard someone say, when I win the lottery, I’ll do XYZ. When I win the lottery, I will make this happen for myself. When I win the lottery, I will start donating to all these charities. When I win the lottery, I will build a new house, etc, etc. If you’ve ever done that yourself or heard it, this is an example of creating a barrier, creating an obstacle, creating a condition on the thing that you really want. For example, if you really want to build a new house, then creating that condition of Well, I have to win the lottery first will actually somehow make it seem like a safer option in your mind, when you don’t need that safety. Give yourself a breath and listen to that. The safety of winning the lottery is not required for you to build the new house if that is something that you have said to yourself. My dog Winston’s in the background, and he just sighed really big for that one. He must have really felt that. He was probably creating some conditions himself. 

By creating these barriers, we actually create more limiting beliefs that I can’t have XYZ until I have ABC. That this thing has to happen before this is the only way I can have this. And that means that I have stopped myself, I have created a limiting belief, I have created a self-imposed barrier. It could be well, I can’t find the love of my life until I lose 10 pounds. I’m not going to go on a dating app or try to find my new partner until I do XYZ. We create a barrier to that experience. We create a self-imposed, and it is truly self-imposed here, right? Because no one says you have to lose 10 pounds to meet the love of your life or that you have to win the lottery to start giving to charities. Conditional thinking like this creates this reinforcement of any limiting beliefs that you have. Now, the reason that I’m talking about this so much is that often, we create these hurdles that we have to jump over because of an underlying limiting belief about whether or not we can have the thing that we want. Okay, so be super loving with yourself. 

You Get To Define Success

Let’s look at this a little bit differently. Some people will say, Well, I’m not actually successful until I’m making $100,000 a month, or I’m not actually successful until my calendar is fully booked. Or I’m not actually successful until I make $5,000 a day, or whatever the number is, the numbers are all arbitrary, right? The conditions are all arbitrary. But there’s some part of you that sees that desire that you have to be successful as conditional on these other things when, in fact, you get to enjoy being successful while in the pursuit of those things. You get to redefine success for yourself. You get to understand, know, trust, and enjoy the fact that you can have a lot of success and feel successful and feel the feelings of being successful right now on the way to getting to the next level. 

The reason that this is so important, especially if you’re a business owner, you love entrepreneurship, you are connected to your work so deeply, is because while you are in your passion, doing your work, if you create a condition that you can’t be successful until you’ve reached a certain limit, a certain level of income or clients or some variable that you’ve placed, then you’re not allowing yourself to feel the fun, and the joy, and the success and the happiness of the work that you’re doing now. It’s like waiting to be happy. Yeah, okay, give yourself a breath. That feels really important, right? It feels like this important thing that we need to address is that creating conditions, placing conditions on our desires, is actually stalling our fullest level of happiness. Not only is it taking back control, right, but it is also saying that God and The Universe, you know, whatever your religious beliefs or your spiritual beliefs are, that if you place these conditions on what it is that you want to create in your life, that you can’t actually allow yourself to be fully happy until you have that. And that you’re taking away the opportunity for God and The Universe and your guides and your angels to aid you on that path. It actually takes away your ability to receive from unknown sources from the expected and unexpected in your life. Okay, so take that. Give yourself a breath. 

Choose To Be Open

I know that feels kind of big because when we recognize that we’re placing conditions on our manifestations, on our desires, that we’re creating hoops for ourselves to jump through that are not necessary. And we’re postponing our happiness. Waiting for specific conditions to be fulfilled keeps you in a dissatisfied state for an uncertain amount of time and for an uncertain future. That feels really yucky, doesn’t it? It feels like why would I block myself from having my manifestation or allowing my desire to come to me in an unexpected way? If you want to create conditions for miracles to happen to you, you can’t create an obstacle for it to go through in order to get to you. You want to create the conditions as in you want to be as open as possible. You want to practice working on your receiving. You want to work on your mindset. You want to work on your energy. You want to be in a place where it feels safe for you to receive rather than making your desire conditional on ABC or XYZ happening first. How’s that landing for you? Just give yourself space, a moment, and a breath to recalibrate there.

Another thing that can happen on this path of creating obstacles, and creating conditions is that this approach can actually cause us to miss or overlook opportunities. You may overlook something that you don’t see as part of the initial condition. Right? You may not see the opportunity there because it doesn’t align with the way that you believe things should happen for you to receive the desire that you have. How’s that landing for you? Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to travel, which might be when you have a certain amount of money or a certain amount of time, you could look for creative ways to explore new places within your current budget. Now, this is kind of this is so simple, right? It’s like, when I make an extra $20,000, I’m going to take myself on a trip to Paris, and I’m going to focus solely on this trip to Paris. And I’m going to have everything that I want when I get to Paris. But if you are so singularly focused on that the thing has to happen before you get to Paris, you may miss other opportunities to have a lot of fun and exploring places that are within your current budget and your current lifestyle. And it may even impede you from looking at opportunities where you might be able to go to Paris for leveraging a business opportunity or through some inexpensive travel travel opportunity. 

Missing Alternatives

If you think that ‘A’ has to happen before ‘B’ can happen, then you’re going to wait a long time and only focus on ‘A’ happening before you allow ‘B.’ Now, if you’ve done this, which a lot of us have, remember, a lot of us have done this, give yourself a breath, give yourself a lot of love. Because that part of you is trying to protect you. Remember, our subconscious mind doesn’t like it, necessarily. If we’re not used to dreaming big, if we’re not used to our desires and our manifestations coming to life for us, then our subconscious mind gets a little scared when we have a big, bold vision. And we really let it bubble up to the surface. And we get really excited about it, that it will tell us to create a limitation so that we can have it. And sometimes they’re not so obvious, right? Like placing a condition, placing an obstacle between you and your desire is really subtle, isn’t it? It’s really subtle that if you don’t think that you can go to Paris without making an extra $20,000, then your body and your mind will work together to even help you not make the $20,000, so you can’t go to Paris. And when we create those conditions, those obstacles, those limitations that we can’t have either, or it’s harder. It’s so much harder. You know, I’m never going to be one to say that you can’t have what you want. If you’re not doing these things, right? It’s just going to make it harder and maybe take a little bit longer, and I want you to have what you want as quickly as you want it, feeling as good as you can. 

Empower Yourself

Removing these conditions also gives you more control. It gives you more control because it actually gives you the power. It empowers you to take the steps in your life and to look at your goals proactively rather than waiting for some conditions to be right before you can have them. That means you’ve trained yourself to just wait. You’ve trained yourself to wait until ‘A’ happens so you can have ‘B.’ I know I’ve used a ton of different variables here. Mr. Muldoon from Algebra would not be very happy. When you train yourself that you can’t have ‘B’ until you have ‘A,’ you’re not receiving ‘A’ as much fun. You’re putting ‘B’ so far off into the future that you are going to suffer from this dissatisfaction, this uncertainty, and this feeling like, why don’t good things ever happen to me? Instead, I invite you to look at the mindset that says I have to have ‘A’ before I can have a ‘B’. Take back your control, and instead of waiting to complete your newest certification, start seeing clients. Instead of waiting until the circumstances are just right for you to offer your new program, make the circumstances right by offering your new program. Give yourself a breath. Because I know that as I say that, whatever your variables are, your subconscious mind is probably firing off all sorts of physical responses and thoughts like, but but but I can’t have this until I do this. That’s the way I’ve been trained. I can’t have ‘B’ until I have ‘A.’ And because I’ve been doing this this way for so long, that it scares my body, and it scares my mind. Of course, it does. Of course, it scares your body. And, of course, it scares your mind because it’s new, it’s fresh, it’s growth. It’s big, and you know what it means to you. You have placed such a big condition on your desire because it means that much to you. So be very loving with yourself. 

Work With Your Subconscious Mind

Your subconscious mind is doing its job right now protecting you. You have to learn to work with your subconscious mind in order to create the life that you want instead of continuing to fight your subconscious mind. Learning how to operate with your subconscious mind makes it so much easier that when you notice these things come up, you have your specific toolkit to help you do that. If you want to know more about that toolkit, please reach out to me for a call. You can send me a DM or go to callwithrebecca.com to schedule a consultation. I will tell you about the toolkit I’m talking about. As you are releasing these conditions, you’re going to notice a shift inside of you. You’re going to notice that for a while, it’s going to have to be really conscious that you’re going to have to pay close attention to the way that you’re operating, to the way that you’re thinking about your life. You might be reevaluating a lot of your big desires right now. And that’s okay. It’s okay for you to take a pause, for you to look at all of the conditions that you have created on your life. I can’t be really happy until I have this amount of money in the bank. I can’t be really happy until I leave my partner. I can’t be really happy in a new relationship until I pay off my student loan. I can’t be really happy in a new relationship, I can’t even explore the idea of a new relationship, until I lose 10 pounds, I can’t really think of myself as successful until I have an extra $50,000 in the bank. Just notice what those ideas, what those examples do in your body. And be loving with yourself. Remember, this is not about judgment. This is about exploring all the places where fear comes in and learning how to work with the fear instead of fighting yourself so you can have the thing that you desire.

Opening Space for Miracles 

Releasing these conditions on your life will actually give you a greater sense of success. It will give you a greater sense of accomplishment and a greater sense of confidence. Instead of, for example, waiting for your mentor to guide you through your career, you take initiative and you seek out resources, and you network with your peers. You learn independently to advance your professional goals. Just using that as an example, you can’t really get into the career that you want until you have a mentor. Looking at the idea of you taking control of the situation and not waiting for that circumstance to be right, you actually create a new condition. And the condition is that you have opened up a space for miracles to happen to you. You have given yourself a really powerful opening, that instead of waiting for someone to lead the way for you, which, of course, there’s nothing wrong with being an apprentice or learning from someone else. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. That’s how I learned, but if you’re waiting for something like that, in order for you to feel comfortable and confident practicing your specific skill, your healing modality, whatever the case may be, then you are waiting for happiness in that area. You’re waiting to trust yourself to have the experience. When you release the condition, you will allow yourself to have the experience, in this example, networking with other people. Imagine what happens every time I network with people: I get a new opportunity. I built my entire business on building relationships. So every single time I connect with someone, there’s a new opportunity, and I try to give them an opportunity, too. I try to help create the space for a miracle to happen to them, too. 

Allowing The Unexpected

When you release conditions on your desires, when you say, Okay, I’m going to open myself up, and ‘B’ can happen without ‘A’ happening, you actually become more flexible. You actually become open to possibility. When you release these conditions, you become more and more available to different possibilities. And let’s face it, when you don’t have to control ‘A’ must happen first for ‘B’ to happen, ‘B’ is likely to happen faster because you’ve let go of trying to control how it must happen. We hear all the time, in manifestation and in being a conscious creator in our lives, that things can happen in unexpected ways. Miracles happen, and in every one of those instances when the unexpected happens and a miracle happens, nobody has written down the outline and the timeline of how it’s supposed to happen. We can get so focused on how it must happen for us that we really have cut off all the joy of allowing the unexpected to happen. We spend so much time in being in control of it. Because our subconscious mind thinks that we need to be in control of it, by the way, so don’t give yourself too hard of a time here your subconscious mind is doing her job. But when you notice that the subconscious mind is trying to control every move so you can have that desire, then you get to notice your subconscious mind is trying to block the desire. If you’re so caught up in the How about how something can happen. What it would mean if your desire came to life, if you were able to manifest that thing that you have created a condition on, you will allow yourself to take all the happiness out of it, take all the joy out of it. But when you release the conditions and you open yourself to possibilities, you also regain some energy. Putting together the absolute outline of how everything has to happen and putting all the conditions together that I have to, you know, win the lottery in order to build my new house takes all the fun out of spontaneity and possibility dazzling you, delighting you with how easy it could be. And it takes so much freakin energy to focus on every step being exactly the way that you want. And we do that out of safety. You know, if you’ve ever felt like you were a control freak, or you know someone who you’re like, oh my gosh, they’re such a control freak, I can’t have any fun with them, that they are creating conditions for the manifestation out of fear. They’re creating the absolute perfect outline for everything to happen in a certain way because they’re afraid of something. 

Stop Postponing Happiness

So you get to, if it’s you that you’re that I’m talking about here, you get to be super loving with yourself. Super loving with yourself. You’ve been conditioned to have fear since before you knew what fear was. And it’s not wrong. It’s been trying to keep you alive this whole time. It’s been doing a pretty good job keeping you alive, right? But sometimes, it can be a little bit overprotective, like the super helicopter mom, right? Where you can’t make a move without her knowing about it. That’s really what your subconscious mind is doing. So learning to work with your subconscious mind, learning to observe your thoughts, and learning to observe when a fear is present will help you to release the condition so that the thing that you want can happen. It also allows you to navigate changes and challenges more effectively because you’re not tied to a specific outcome. Right? If you can’t be happy until you have a $100,000 day in your business, then you’re postponing happiness. If you can’t feel peaceful unless you have $100,000 day in your business, then you are postponing peacefulness. If you can’t have a feeling of success unless you have that $100,000 day in your business, you’re postponing the joy. You’re postponing the fun. What if you release the condition and allow yourself to feel successful, feel joyful, and peaceful now by working with your emotions? And remember, I can help you do that. Releasing the anxiety, releasing the pain, and letting yourself be in the present moment. Allowing for something really special to happen for you. It may not look the way you want it to look or the way you think it has to look in order to feel the way that you want to feel. But it could be really freaking good instead. 

Cut Out The Middleman

The idea of if you dream of manifesting the lottery because you want to do the ten big things that you want to do when you win the lottery, it’s not really the lottery that you want to try to manifest. It’s the ten big things. Why create the obstacle of winning the lottery, which we know is very statistically difficult? Give yourself focus on the ten things that you want to create instead. If you want to open your bank accounts, and see hundreds of 1000s of dollars in each one of your accounts, and see your investment portfolio grow and grow every single day, then that’s the focus of your manifestation. If you want to open your retirement account and see all this money has flooded in, that’s what you focus on. If you want to open the account where you had that loan that time, and you want to see a zero balance there, that’s what you focus on. Not the condition that you want to create. Not the lottery, right? Because you want to win the lottery, yes, so you can have these things. But cut out the middleman. Cut out the condition that you can only do these ten things if you win the lottery. And just for a moment, I mean, there are so many ways that we dream, right? There are so many ways that we dream about large amounts of money coming into our lives so we can do things like build the house, buy the cars, pay off our kids’ student loans, pay off our own student loans, go back to school, buy the new house, buy the lake house, buy the dream house, etc, etc. Right? 

We have the big list of things that we want to do. The big old bucket list. But if one thing has to happen before we can have any of that, then we are pushing that list, pushing those desires further and further away. And I’m here to invite you to release all the barriers and create a different condition for you to have your desires. And that is openness to possibility. Openness to the limitlessness of the Universe. Openness to the joy of exploring with curiosity: how can I have this, and how can it be easy? How can it be easier than I ever dreamed? How can I have fun allowing this into my life? Not how do I wake up on Monday morning and do everything just perfectly so the thing that I want will come to me? How can I have fun in the present? How can I feel the way that I want to feel with that thing happening right now? How can I open up my trust and my faith while taking the actions that feel right to me, living the life that I want to live right now? And enjoying the idea of that coming to me as a surprise as a delight in the most unexpected or even expected way. But without you being attached to how it happens? What could that be like for you? What would you really let yourself manifest? What would you really let yourself desire if you didn’t have to have any condition on it other than I can allow this to happen in my life? And you do the mindset work, the energy work, and you live your life in the most passionate, fun, deserving way. You allow yourself to deserve that big thing that you want without creating an obstacle to it. You just let it come to you because you’re worthy. And because your worthiness is permanent. Your worthiness is constant. Your worthiness is infinite. 

See Abundance Coming To You In Big Ways

How does that feel? Does that feel exciting? Does it feel so loving to your system? Does it feel like, Oh my gosh, I can have a birthday party this year? And it doesn’t have to be a big milestone birthday. If you want to have a party, you can have a party for no reason. You can let yourself have joy right now without there being a reason, an excuse, or an obstacle. You can just have the condition in your life, that you’re open all the time to love and joy and fun within your standards within your values. And you can allow yourself to be gifted and showered with abundance each and every day. You can allow yourself to see abundance coming to you in so many different ways that it won’t surprise or startle you when it comes in the biggest way that you dream up. In fact, you’ll be ready for it and so appreciative of it. And I invite you to be appreciative of it right now. Knowing that everything that you want wants you back. Everything you seek seeks you. It doesn’t need an obstacle to come to you. It doesn’t need a condition to come to you. And you certainly don’t need to place an obstacle or a reason. More evidence that you can have it because you have made yourself get the other thing first. You don’t need to create any condition. You don’t need to create any additional barrier. In fact, I invite you to create a space where you help the miracle happen because you expected it. You help the unexpected happen because you trust it. You help the unexpected happen because you have faith that it can happen for you. And in the meantime, you love yourself and you have fun. And you move in the direction of your passion. And you take actions feeling this deep sense of trust that every action you take leads you closer to seeing your manifestation, to seeing your desire. 

Your Effective Immediately Mindset Shift

Are you ready for your effective immediately moment of the week? Your mindset shift to the week? And it is very simple as you’ve been listening, you’ve already been conditioning yourself for this, but what I want you to do is I want you to look at your big list of desires. And maybe you’ve held off on that for a while. So look at your big list of desires or write out your big list of desires if you haven’t because writing is very important to help your brain look for the help. Help yourself have what you want by writing it down, exploring what it would look like, exploring what it would feel like, okay, so that’s not the shift. What I want you to do is, as you’re thinking about or writing down the things that you desire in your life, I want you to ask yourself, have I created a condition on receiving this thing? Have I told myself that I can only have this if I have something else first? Then, look at whatever that first thing is and work on deleting the need to have that first. You can even add that to your desire list. But it’s not the condition for you to have the rest of your desires anymore. Let’s go back to using that lottery example. If you have a list of ten things that you really want, and you believe that you have to win the lottery before you can have those ten things, just move winning the lottery to that list and allow yourself to have the eleven things when they can come to you without the condition. The only thing that you do is create space for the miracle to happen. 

Set up a call with me at callwithrebecca.com or rebeccawiener.com, or send me a DM wherever you see this video, and I’ll give you the information about the toolkit to help you work with your mind and your body to calm down your subconscious responses, your physical, emotional, energetic responses so that you can be more open to possibility and to not be resistance to the big things that you desire in your life. 

Have a beautiful week, and take really good care of yourself. And remember, as you’re making your list, no judgment, only exploring with love. Bye for now.

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About the Author:

Rebecca Wiener McGregor, also known as The Anxiety Eraser, is a seasoned transformational hypnotist, trauma healer, and abundance coach. Since 2004, she guides visionary women to break free from anxiety, blocks, traumas, and fears, leading them to a life filled with abundance and purpose. Through her book “Loving Her” and work with conscious women executives, leaders, coaches, and healers worldwide, Rebecca sparks profound transformations, helping her clients embrace their true selves and create impactful, joyful, fulfilling lives.

To schedule an intro call click here.

For speaking and podcasting appearances: love@rebeccawiener.com