Ever wondered why you don’t always behave in accordance with the current experience that you’re having? It’s like something else is driving your response. Well, we’re gonna dive into this today. 

Hey, beautiful human, it’s me, Rebecca Wiener McGregor, the Anxiety Eraser, and welcome to another episode of Effective Immediately, the show where we talk mindset, abundance, leadership, and I give you a mindset shift that you can make effective immediately. 

As we are talking today, I want you to always remember that when we’re talking about experiences with the brain, we’re talking about the subconscious mind, we’re talking about the way the brain responds, and when we’re talking about our self-worth, we’re talking about belief systems. Now, I want to remind you, if you hang around me long enough, you’ve been listening to this long enough, you know, the subconscious mind is always always always trying to keep you safe. It’s always trying to keep us safe, and what that means to the subconscious mind is in the familiar, and in the same, and in the predictable. I know it’s kind of stinks, right? Especially because we have such a massive growth mindset that the subconscious mind is always trying to keep us safe in the familiar. 

It’s All Recorded In The Subconscious Mind

So, here’s what’s happening. Every single thing that we experience in our lives is recorded in the subconscious mind. Every single thing. It’s all there. Even if you say you have a bad memory your subconscious mind is still operating off of these experiences. Most of our experiences before age eight have created belief patterns that we are still operating on today. If you ever wonder why someone is behaving the way they are, and it doesn’t seem to match the current experiences, it’s likely because of something that happened to them before they were seven or eight years old. Wild, huh?

Looking at the fact that our brain is constantly going back to these experiences trying to keep us safe, it will look for similar emotional responses, similar circumstances, and similar environments. And it will go into that massive Netflix of a subconscious mind that has all of our stories and all of our programs stored in it, and it will look for something that matches the present moment. Some thread may match. It may not make any sense to you at all, but some thread may match an old experience. And it will tap into that experience for how to respond in the present moment. That means your physical responses, your emotional responses, your behavioral responses, the thoughts that are going through your mind, all of that is based on a reference file from the past.

Now, as I said, most of our patterns are set before we’re age eight, but also when we have different traumatic experiences happening in our lives that can add to it. So physical injury, emotional injury, betrayal, traumas, and other ways. Loss, guilt, shame, and things that create those kinds of feelings are often right there. When your mind is fighting because you want to go forward, you want to grow, you want to change, you want to expand, and you want to do new things in your life. But your subconscious mind is saying, based on these past experiences, I’m not sure that this is a good idea for you because of the stories that I’ve created about you and about the world because of these past experiences. So, when I’m talking about trauma, I’m talking about anything that created a little shift in you, anything that created a little bit of a change in how you see the world and not in a great positive way.

Most Impactful Types of Trauma 

There are two kinds of trauma that I want to acknowledge here that are particularly prevalent with the women that I work with. There are all kinds of trauma, but these seem to be the top two over the last 20 years that have had the most impact. And the first one is physical trauma. And I’m going to group under this anything that happens with the body. Okay, so it could be a physical accident. It could be someone treating your body in a negative way. It could be an assault or something like that. Okay? The other one is financial trauma. There are more kinds, and we can discuss other kinds in the future. But I want to acknowledge these two very important things because your worthiness is infinite. Your worthiness is infinite. The fact that you are here, the fact that you exist, indicates your worthiness. The fact that you were born equals your worthiness. The fact that you were created equals your worthiness. The worthiness is not in question, but what I want to address here, what I want to help us understand that so important here is that when something happens to us when we are traumatized when we are children, for example, it changes the way that we see ourselves, the way that we think about ourselves and the world. 

I’m gonna speak about physical trauma first because when someone mistreats our body, we believe that our worthiness is different than the way it was before that moment. Now, this is really hard to talk about because it’s very painful for so many people. If you’ve ever dealt with any kind of things like this, or know anybody who’s dealt with any kind of thing like this, it’s a really tender subject. When someone mistreats our body, whether it is with sexual violence, physical violence, or even this, also combined, usually with emotional mistreatment, emotional violence, we begin to think, what is wrong with me? It was very often it’s not an absolute, okay? Your worthiness is an absolute; none of this other stuff is an absolute. None of this other stuff needs to keep you from living the life that you want and growing into the person that you want to be. Okay? But I want to acknowledge when we have something happen to us, it is natural for us to question, what did I do wrong? Why did this happen to me? What does this mean about me becomes the next question. What does this mean about the quality of the person I am? What does this mean about my worthiness? What does this mean about my deserving this? What does this mean about what I can create in my life? And these aren’t questions that we’re thinking consciously right away. But they tend to come up after different kinds of trauma like this.

This is why I’m so freaking passionate about helping people heal what has happened to them in the past so that they can feel free to find their worthiness, again, to find the truth about their worthiness, that they’re infinitely worthy. And that they can have and create the life that they want. The business they want, the relationships that they want. Okay, so imagining, just as a concept here, we don’t need to go into our own stuff. And if you are feeling like something got stirred up in you, some memories or things like that that you’ve been trying to put away, I want you to be really loving and gentle with yourself, okay? And I want you just to zoom out a little bit. When we are dealing with these feelings that create that, what did I do wrong? What does this mean about me? This must mean that I’m not as great as I think I am. This must mean that I, you know, can’t have the things that I want. It means something about me. When that happens, the decisions that we make based on those beliefs change.

You Are Infinitely Worthy

If you believe you’re infinitely worthy, and that everything is going your way, and that you can have the things that you want to have, your decisions will be very simple, usually, right? Imagine making decisions from that place, very simple. Yes, I can have this. Yes, I can do this. Yes, it will turn out for me. I have no fear about that. Whatever is supposed to happen is going to happen, and you can make decisions with ease. Now, recognizing that our subconscious mind doesn’t like growth, it may not be super easy, but it’ll be a lot easier from a place of yes, I’m worthy of this. Yes, I can have this. Yes, I can create this. Yes, I’m talented enough, smart enough, responsible enough, and I can handle all the outcomes, right? But imagining then someone who is dealing with a feeling that they feel, they believe that they aren’t as worthy as everybody else. That it’s painful. The memories are painful, and the memories have taught them that they must not be worth that much. They must not be very deserving. They must not be very valuable because this thing happened to them.

What kind of decisions do you make from that place? Right? What kind of decisions would they make from that place? Would it be, Well, you know, I guess I mean, I really want this thing. But there’s so much resistance happening in my body that I guess I can’t have it. I am stuck. I’m, I’m making decisions based on fear here instead of confidence. I’m making decisions based on the fact that maybe I don’t really think I’m worthy of having what I want. So I’m making decisions rooted in, let’s see if I can get this. Let’s see if I can get to a level that I can accept. Can I, you know, like, maybe this is good enough for me. Maybe this kind of relationship is what I deserve because this is what my experiences have told me that I’m worth.

Your Decisions Reflect Your Beliefs

Now, I know this is not an easy conversation. This is not a very fun topic. But if you have ever known someone or been in a situation where you are trying to make decisions, but the decisions that you’re making are based on what you think you might be able to get. Like, I might be able to deserve this. I might be able to have this. This might be okay. And you’re grasping and chasing rather than acknowledging your full worthiness. Then I want you just to give yourself a lot of love. Put your hand on your heart right now and give yourself a lot of love. And as you do that, all the versions of you that have ever existed are receiving love, too. Some part of you does not feel safe in the expansion. Some part of you does not feel safe in the growth. So your decisions are going to reflect that.

Remember, the whole point of my work is that I want us to be able to talk about our fears as easily as saying to someone, Hey, you got a little piece of spinach in your teeth. Right? I want us to be able to acknowledge our fears so we can deal with them. So we can work with them instead of fighting them so we can easily move into the growth state, we can easily move into what it is that we want. So we don’t have to fight for the things that we want our whole life; we can have them. And we can even grow beyond them and have things that we didn’t even know we could imagine. The work that you do, the experiences that you want to have, the businesses that you want to have, the way you want to support other people, and the way you want to help the world. I want you to be able to have all of that. And if there is anything standing in your way from the past, this is what I do to help you release it. Okay? My work is helping you release what has happened in the past. 

The Stories of Financial Trauma

We’ve talked about the physical body, and now I want to address financial trauma. Over the last several years, especially with the “panorama,” there have been many times when people have experienced trauma. Businesses changed, many businesses closed, travel changed, experiences changed, and we had to, you know, make shifts in the way that we do business if we do business. And there was a lot of money that was lost during that time and acknowledging that. Okay? So this is the most recent thing that I want to acknowledge. There can be financial trauma when you’re young in your home. You can witness the way that your parents deal with money, keep money from each other, tell secrets about money, think about money, talk about money, etc. That is all there in the subconscious mind already, and then imagine having a business that went out of business during what happened in 2020 and 2021, largely. Or a business that couldn’t quite recover from the devastation of having to close for a few weeks or a few months. Now, coming out of that can create feelings of maybe I can’t have the way I want. Maybe if I try this again, I’ll fail. Maybe business, this isn’t for me this way. Maybe I can’t have things the way that I want. And you can see here, this trauma also begins to create stories about us and about the world.

Super loving with yourself, being super loving with anyone that you know who has gone through this, recognizing that this can create havoc when you are trying to make decisions. Because we’ve already got all the stuff that happened before we could even consciously think about our thoughts and our beliefs before we were eight years old, right? Then we have moments of times and things that happened to us where we shifted a little bit about, oh, I’m not sure I can have this. I’m not sure I’m good enough. You know, comparison and all that other stuff. Then we have something major happen in our financial world, where we make a bad investment. Where we lose a lot of money during a terrible business season. When we make a bad choice about who we should hire and how that goes. 

The Impact of Our Enoughness

You know, there are lots of ways financial trauma can happen. But it creates feelings inside of us and shifts our beliefs about what we think is possible for us. When that happens, we begin to make decisions differently. Because all of our decisions are based on our beliefs. And trauma impacts our beliefs. Whether it is something big, like the financial or the physical trauma that I mentioned here, or a moment when something happened, where you just shifted a little bit about what you thought was possible for you. Maybe somebody said something, and you really, in that moment, were feeling extra sensitive, and you took that on, and you thought, maybe I’m not seeing myself the way other people see me, maybe I’m not as good as I think I am, maybe I’m not as smart as I think I am, or as beautiful or whatever fill in the blank which leads to our enoughness, right? And then, as we make these decisions, we make decisions for our lives based on these beliefs.

So imagine making decisions based on the fullness of who you are, the truth of who you are, the passion that you have for life, for your business for helping people for moving the world. And making decisions based on feeling fully worthy, and deserving of everything that you want. Now, some decisions are hard anyway. Some decisions are very, very difficult and they take a little extra energy and time to make those decisions. But imagine being fully resourced with worthiness, strength, power, inner knowing, trust, and passion and making decisions from there. Versus making decisions from a place of I’m stuck. There’s so much fear in my body that I’m frozen. I make the decision, but I can’t carry out the action. I’m not sure that I can do this. I’m not sure I can do this again. I’m not sure I have the energy. I’m not sure I have the strength. And then our minds will start to tell us stories. I’m not sure I have enough time. I’m not sure I have enough money. I’m not sure enough people will like what I have to offer. What if I have haters? What if I get canceled? All the stories will start to come up. And those stories will start to change the way you make decisions.

It Doesn’t Mean Anything About You

Looking at those two options, of course, it would be easier, better, more fun, delightful even to make decisions from a place of being fully resourced with passion and, confidence and worthiness. Knowing that you have the opportunity to try and messing it up and having it not go great doesn’t mean anything about you other than that you were willing to try. And what if it does go well? What if it expands beyond my wildest dreams? Wow, I’m sure I can manage that because I’m operating from a place of trusting myself, loving myself, knowing that I am adaptable, that I’m responsible that I can manage success as well. Making decisions from that place is the healthiest, most beneficial way to make decisions. If we make decisions from the trauma because it’s not been healed, it’s not been dealt with, it’s not been handled, and we’re making decisions based on those beliefs that came from the trauma, we’re going to have a harder time.

Now, this is not absolute, by the way. You know, if you hang around me long enough, I know, and I fully believe that it is a fact. Do you like how I said that I know and I fully believe that it is a fact? That you can have massive abundance while being a messy human. You can have massive abundance while dealing with trauma. You can have massive abundance and wonderful relationships while coming from a place that was difficult. You can have terrible mindset and still have lots and lots of wins in your life. You can have massive abundance.

What I Want For You

What I want for you is for it to be easier. What I want for you is for it to be easier and swifter than you can even imagine. I want it to be faster. I want it to be joyful. That’s what I want for you. I want your decisions and your abundance to be easy. I want you to feel good in your body. Trauma tells us stories, and those stories shift the way we feel in our bodies. Trauma can cause us to carry tension. It can cause us to have an upset stomach or upset digestive tract. It can upset our heads, give us headaches, and carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. Give us a lump in our throat. It can create lots of feelings inside our bodies. And when we carry around those feelings, and we’re fighting those feelings trying to take care of ourselves, trying to do our daily tasks, trying to carry out our life, trying to carry out our vision, trying to create what it is that we’re trying to do. But this stuff is distracting us from making great decisions and having it the way that we want it. Then I want to help you move it if that’s what you want. I want to help you heal the trauma. I want to help you shift what you believe is possible for you. And I want to help you clear all the gunk that’s sitting in your body. That’s my work.

You can DM me anywhere around this video where it might be possible or click the links that are around this video to connect with me to talk about doing that one-on-one. I would love to help you with that.

Your Effective Immediately Shift

So, for your effective immediately shift of the week, when you are making decisions, I want you to center yourself. Put your hand on your heart, this is so effective to ground yourself to be in your body, to be in the present moment. And as you’re making decisions, focus on making decisions from the present. If you’re struggling with a decision, if you’re struggling with taking action, if you’re struggling with the movement that you want to take to do the things that you want to do. I want you to put your hand on your heart, and I want you to ask yourself, Am I making a decision for my present circumstances? Or am I making a decision from a set of beliefs that happened because of what has happened in the past? Just tuning in and asking yourself, Am I operating from my present circumstances, or am I operating from old stuff? And then you could shift if needed. You can bring yourself into the present. Ground yourself into the present, being in the present moment, looking at what’s happening in the present moment Thinking about where you want to go from here and making a decision from that place.

Be super loving with yourself as you do this. Remember that we are always operating with curiosity and looking at the data and not making judgments about ourselves because we may be operating from some past experience because we are all doing it. This is not a secret. The whole world, everybody’s operating from their path. They’re not really in the present unless they’re intentionally doing it, intentionally practicing it, have worked to heal the past, and allow themselves to be in the present fully. And even then, our subconscious mind is always going to opt for safety. It’s always going to opt for the familiar, the similar, the predictable because it’s trying to keep us safe. It does not give a flying fig about our happiness. It is our spirit that wants happiness. It’s our spirit that’s asking us to move forward. It’s our spirit that’s guiding us into our next level of growth. So be loving and kind with yourself. Take your time, and make your decisions from the place that is the most productive and most beneficial for you. And by productive, I mean the most beneficial, the most helpful to what it is that you want to create.

If you want to reach out to me to find out how to work with me in my one-on-one Elevated Leader program, you can do so by going to rebeccawiener.com. You can send me a DM wherever you see this video, or you can go to callwithrebecca.com to schedule a call with me and we will uncover the root of whatever it is that is holding you back. And I’ll give you a path to heal it and a path to your vision so you can create the life, the business, and the relationships of your dreams. Because that is what you truly deserve. 

All right, I will see you next time. Bye for now have a beautiful day.

 

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About the Author:

Rebecca Wiener McGregor, also known as The Anxiety Eraser, is a seasoned transformational hypnotist, trauma healer, and abundance coach. Since 2004, she guides visionary women to break free from anxiety, blocks, traumas, and fears, leading them to a life filled with abundance and purpose. Through her book “Loving Her” and work with conscious women executives, leaders, coaches, and healers worldwide, Rebecca sparks profound transformations, helping her clients embrace their true selves and create impactful, joyful, fulfilling lives.

To schedule an intro call click here.

For speaking and podcasting appearances: love@rebeccawiener.com