If you’ve ever felt trapped in your thoughts, paralyzed by overthinking, or completely exhausted by self-doubt, this is for you. 

Hey, beautiful human. It’s me, Rebecca Wiener McGregor, and welcome to another episode of Effective Immediately, the show where we talk mindset, abundance, healthy emotions. And I give you a mindset shift that you can make effective immediately. 

Over the last 20 years of working with clients, the number one thing that I hear from them is that they are exhausted. Exhausted from being in their head, exhausted from overthinking, exhausted from not getting enough sleep because they’re thinking throughout the night; their thoughts are waking them up. And this is an episode where we’re going to talk about getting from your head into your heart. And one of the secrets that many people don’t realize is that most of your decisions in your life are actually going to be made in your heart. Most of the most important decisions you’re going to make aren’t going to be the super analysis; they’re going to be in your heart, connected with your values, connected with your standards, and you’re going to make them so much easier this way. 

First, I want to talk about this whole being in your head and not being in your heart. The heart is where you are connected to your spirit, your desire, your big vision for your life, your desire to help people transform, your desire to leave a legacy, and your desire to make massive changes and shifts in the world. Okay, that is all in your heart. Especially if you’re living authentically, that will show up from your spirit’s point of view, your soul’s mission, your soul contracts, all that’s going to show up in your heart. What’s going to happen in your head is that you’re going to be actually operating from thoughts about the past. Yes, I know we talk about this all the time because it is so important for you to remember, and so true, that every experience that you’re in in your life, your mind, your subconscious mind connects it to something in the past, to try to make sense of it, to try to make it safe, to try to make it predictable. Because the subconscious mind loves safety, it loves predictability. It loves it when we are doing the same things over and over. 

Getting Disconnected From Our Heart

So you can imagine if you get caught in the ways of overthinking and the ruminating thoughts, the subconscious mind actually likes that. It doesn’t really care that you’re uncomfortable. It doesn’t care that you’re anxious or angry or frustrated, or whatever the feeling is that is causing you to be in the state of over and over overthinking, overdoing, over planning, over prioritizing, over whatever is happening in your head, right? It does not care at all. Now, that sounds kind of harsh, right? Your subconscious mind is here to keep you safe. That’s its main job. And it takes it very seriously. The root of that, of course, we want to look at that as being wanting to take care of the body, right wanting to keep us safe. So, let’s not be angry with the subconscious mind. But let’s acknowledge that its goal is to keep us safe. And it loves predictability. It loves the same, and it loves the familiar. It is your spirit, your heart, that has the vision. So your subconscious mind doesn’t care that there’s a big vision in your life. It cares about keeping you safe. It is your spirit that wants joy, and happiness and, love and, gratitude, and connection to make that ripple. So what happens is that we get disconnected from our heart, often the things in our lives that have made the little shifts in the direction of fears, the direction of self-doubt, the direction of shame, the direction of guilt, those kinds of things stay as like these big moments in our subconscious mind. And we start to create beliefs, we start to create stories, and our subconscious mind uses them as those milestones to help keep us right where we are, right in the present, stuck in this present moment, rather than moving forward the way that we want to. 

Right In The Present (Stuck In Our Heads)

I want to make sense of this a little bit because I said, “right in the present.” When you are stuck in this moment, it feels like you’re kind of stuck in the past, right? You’re not moving forward, you’re not moving in the direction of your goals, you’re not moving where you want to be going. It’s because our subconscious mind loves it when we overthink. Now, what happens when we overthink, we drain our energy. Often when we overthink, we do pro and con lists. We do all the things in our head, it drains our energy. And when we get tired, fear is allowed to get even stronger. So, if you’ve ever been in this place where you overthink, you overdo, and you’ve noticed that you’ve been disconnected from your heart and way caught up in your fears. Way caught up in the analysis, and even analysis paralysis where you don’t let yourself move forward until you have the perfect answer. Give yourself a breath. Give yourself some love. Remember, this is not a time for judgment. This is a time to notice what’s happening. This is a time to collect the data. 

Here’s what happens. I’m going to talk about the role of trauma in this a little bit because for 20 years, I’ve been a trauma healer, transformational hypnotist, and abundance coach, and they’re all actually connected. But what I want to share with you is that every single time we are in an experience, a file is created. And in that file goes how you feel physically, how you feel mentally, how your body is reacting, how your mind is reacting, everything goes in that file, including what the environment is like, what the circumstances like who you’re with, all of that goes in that file. Then, the next time some similar experience happens, your mind will go to those past experiences and look for something that feels similar. Something that seems similar, something that matches in some way. And then it will use that file as a reference of how to respond in the present moment. Okay, it does that because it thinks, well, it was a success. If this other situation happened and you lived through it, you made it through it okay, then that experience was a success.

Getting To The Space Between Your Thoughts

Now, take a breath. If you’re scanning your mind for experiences where you think your mind goes back to these things over and over again, then be loving with yourself. Okay? This is not your fault. This is not your subconscious mind’s fault. It is nobody’s done anything wrong here. Okay? When we have these moments that change us, that shift us, that create a new story or a new belief about us, and our mind continues to go back to those experiences for reference, it’s simply your body and mind trying to keep you safe. Okay, the really amazing part is that through hypnosis, and this is one of my favorite things to do because it’s so powerful, we can go back to those experiences where you’ve experienced big shifts in your life, big trauma in your life, little moments where everything seemed to shift because you changed the way you thought about yourself, we can go back to those experiences. I’ll have you tell me about that experience. We will, therefore, honor and validate your emotions from that experience. We will validate and honor your emotions, the version of you that went through that, the age that you were, the beliefs that you had, everything we’ll honor and validate that. And what happens as you tell me the story then, the physical and emotional responses that were present in that experience are neutralized because your body will not have that information stored the same way anymore. It won’t have the tension. It won’t have the racing thoughts. It won’t have possibly a racing heart, heaviness on your chest, maybe even the feeling like you were never going to stop crying. All of that gets to be neutralized. And then we bring in love and acknowledgment of the self and the acknowledgment of worthiness, and we break all the energetic connections to that experience. So that, this is the cool part: when you are in an experience later, where you reference that file in some way, some way that makes sense to your subconscious mind, not your conscious mind, your body and mind will be referencing a file that is full of love, confidence, self-worth deservingness, all the things that we want to base our decisions on. Now, the cool part about this is that if you have patterns of overthinking, healing these traumatic moments will actually slow down your thoughts. Hold on; it gets even better. Slowing down your thoughts to the point where there is space between your thoughts. Now, this is really cool. When there’s space between your thoughts, there becomes space for inspiration, for understanding, for receiving messages from God and The Universe, for hearing The Way (the capital T capital W), The Way, the solution. It’s a very powerful experience for you to be able to have space between your thoughts so that you can reconnect to your heart, reconnect to your vision, and have that space to receive inspiration for your next steps.

Everybody Has Gunk

Of course, I love talking about hypnosis; I could talk about hypnosis all day because of the powerful things that have happened with me and my clients over the years. And I want to acknowledge too that as you go through a process like this, as you heal the moments from your life, we can call them traumas, we can call them experiences that shifted you. I like to call the collection of that your gunk. I have gunk. Everybody has gunk. And as we heal the gunk, it slows down your mind. It slows down the need to be overthinking all the time. Because what happens is when we’re in traumatic experiences, it causes us to amp up our hypervigilance and constantly check on what is happening around us. Because we’re constantly trying to keep ourselves safe. So it’s simple: you can almost see the connection right away between overthinking and experiences from the past, right? This doesn’t make you wrong. This doesn’t make you bad. You haven’t failed at anything. This is the way the body and the mind work. It’s very important that you understand that. And that you don’t take any of this as you’ve done anything wrong. 

We have moments in our lives before age three where we’re making references to experiences; we’re making reference files, right? Then, from about three to eight, we’re starting to make our sets of beliefs, and the story comes in about why we’ve experienced these things the way we have. The story comes in about who we are, who our family is, and how the world is. And then, as we continue to grow, every time we experience pain of some kind of betrayal, a loss, a failure, or someone hurting us in some way, physically, emotionally, sexually, whatever the way, then we add more stories. And the files get full of the stories and the responses. As we heal those experiences, every file that’s connected to them shifts as well. 

Healing Creates A Shift To The Heart

So the really amazing part is that you don’t have to heal every single moment in your life. You don’t have to heal every single one. But the biggies, when you heal those, it’s like those really old-fashioned Christmas tree lights. When you unscrew one of the bulbs, the whole string goes dark; you may have to Google this if you’re really young. But once you unscrew that light bulb, the whole string goes dark. And when we’re working on an experience, we’re healing an experience that has influenced a lot of the way you’ve behaved in a part of your life, those experiences will immediately have a shift as well. The way that you respond in the present moment, whether you’re in your head or in your heart, then it shifts quite a bit. So what you’ll notice once you heal these past experiences is that you’ll be in your heart so much more because you won’t be on guard. You won’t have to overthink, you won’t have to be hyper-vigilant of your environment who might hurt you, who might be out to get you, right? Whatever your subconscious mind is telling you. And when I say out to get you, I’m talking about these moments when you’re trying to move forward in your life. When you’re trying to be more visible in your business, you’re trying to be more open about who you serve and how you serve, you’re trying to go to the next level, the subconscious mind will tell us stories about who might reject you, who might abandon you, who might not support you the way you want to be supported, as you’re growing into these different versions of yourself being the super next level of success that you want to be. And it doesn’t happen consciously, right? It’s not your subconscious mind sending you text messages, telling you, Yeah, um, so and so is going to be really upset if you start talking about whatever your transformation is that you offer in that way. So and so is going to be really upset if you start making more money than them, and they are going to feel like you don’t understand them or that you’re better than them or whatever, right? We don’t get that obvious of messages, but we will notice that we will stop ourselves. And when we really look at the depth of the reason we stop ourselves, it’s because of these old experiences telling us stories about how the people around us will respond. And let’s face it, some people will be critical of what you do. Some people will be critical of who they think you’re becoming as you become more yourself. That will happen. It will likely happen but when your subconscious mind is telling you that it’s dangerous to have that happen, it will stop you. You might wonder, why do I keep stalling on my goals? Why am I not moving forward the way that I want to? Why can I not get this book finished? Why can I not let myself go live on Facebook? Why can I not make videos the way that I want to? Or why am I not allowing myself to open the floodgates to new clients? Those are some of the things that are kind of the top of the heap that I hear about in my programs about why we’re not moving forward. 

Feeling Emotions In The Body Stops Overthinking

Acknowledging that as you are moving forward in your life, you have this opportunity to move from your head to your heart. One simple way to do that, and I’m going to share a couple of things about this. As we go as we continue here. It will be an opportunity for you to be more vulnerable. It will be an opportunity for you to move from thinking into feeling, and feeling is much more vulnerable. And I want to remind you that vulnerability is not weakness. Often, we will stop ourselves from feeling, and we will stop ourselves from doing things in a certain way because we don’t want to lose our toughness. Vulnerability does not make you weak. Vulnerability allows you to feel and express your emotions. The more that you feel and express your emotions simply with your words, you will be more in your heart and in your body and less in your head. So many times, people will say to me, Rebecca, I have been doing this the opposite way my whole life, and it’s had me stuck, it’s had me spinning, and I didn’t realize what it was until you said when I feel my emotions in my body, I stop overthinking. It’s like this sneaky little thing that our subconscious mind does that it puts us in our thoughts, right? We spin in our thoughts, and we try to figure it out. We try so hard to answer all of the questions. But what our body really needs is to feel the feelings and express the emotions. Now, this is a big deal. When we are vulnerable, when we’re feeling our feelings and when we’re expressing our emotions, we have an opportunity to take movement to take risks, calculated, educated risks, and to take steps forward, even though we’re afraid. Now, hold on. Sometimes people think, Well, if I’m afraid, I’m not doing anything. Now, if you’re listening to the podcast, you know that fear may be a motherfucker, but it is not the enemy. Sometimes, taking steps in the direction of our goals in the direction of our vision, in the direction of everything that we want, will have you moving with fear right alongside you. This is not bad. And this is not wrong. It is okay to feel the fear. It is okay to move with the fear, to take steps even though you’re scared, to speak to that big audience, even though you’re very scared, to go live, even though you’re scared of what people will think about how perfect or imperfect it is. If you’ve been following me for any amount of time, you know that my videos and podcasts are me being very imperfect. 

Moving Forward With Fear

As you move with fear, you will learn things about yourself. As you move with vulnerability, you will notice how you’re operating. You will notice where you want to stop and where you feel comfortable moving forward. You will notice how your body is reacting; your body might have you getting a really, really racing heart or a little gunk feeling in your stomach, or you might have tension on your shoulders or pressure in your head. That is a fear response. And as you move through it, and you allow yourself to take the action anyway, you’re going to learn a ton about yourself and a ton about how fear in your body reacts, responds, and what happens to the fear once you’ve taken the step and move forward anyway. Then, on the other side of that is that you get to feel the joy of success, you get to feel the joy, oh my gosh, I felt the fear, and I moved forward anyway. And I did the thing. And this is what happened. And this is how it turned out. Being vulnerable, allowing yourself to be in your feelings to be in your heart, and not stopping yourself with the analysis, not stopping yourself by overthinking, you actually get to achieve levels of success. 

Now, you have probably already had a lot of success in your life. Some of it, you maybe were so focused that you pushed through, and you didn’t even think about the fear. And then you may have gotten to a certain level in your life where you want exponential growth. And the fear is now coming up. Because the level of success that you had felt safe to your mind, felt safe to your subconscious mind. But now you want to go really big, and your body is saying, your mind is saying no, no, no. We’re not going to allow this level of success, and it’s going to show all these fears popping up. Be very loving with yourself when you notice them coming up. There are people like me who are willing to help you work through the fears, release the gunk and set you on that path to being able to take the steps that you want to take. You don’t have to be caught in the overthinking. You don’t have to be caught in the self-doubt. You don’t have to be caught in the ruminating thoughts in the analysis paralysis. Okay, give yourself some love. 

Aligning With Your Vision Daily

If you are noticing that you’ve ever felt this way. If you are noticing that you really want to get out of your head and to get into your heart, then here are some small things, small shifts that will make a big impact for you. The first one is really looking at your goals and your vision and really aligning them with your true desires. Really aligning them with what your heart wants, what you really are passionate about, and then take a small step. One thing that has helped me so much is a daily practice of thinking about what I want to create today. Not necessarily what I want to create for the next five years, or the next year, or the next month, or the next 12 weeks. One of the things that I do is try to focus on one thing that I’m committed to creating today. Now, it sounds small, right? Of course, I’m thinking about my overarching vision, the overarching plan, and sometimes, even when we’re in this work, sometimes my subconscious mind will act up and think, Oh, my gosh, this is too much for you. This is not what you can do. I don’t know who you think you are. Why do you think that you can have all of this big stuff? And you’ve never done anything like this before? Will you be able to do it? All the stories, right? And the thinking will go on, and the feelings will come up and all that stuff, right? But one of the things that I always come back to is holding the big vision, while taking stock every single day. What do I want to create today? What’s one thing that I want to do today? What’s one way that I want to be today? What’s one way that I want to respond today that will help me move toward my big vision. One thing. I don’t want you, as you’re thinking about your one thing, to start making a monster list of potential one things. I want you to take the first thing that you thought of and let that be what you do for the day. This doesn’t have to be perfect, but what will happen is when you focus on one piece of your passion, you will be more in your heart and less in your head. When you create opportunities for movement, you release opportunities for over-analysis. And you get to be more in your heart, more in your body, every single day. 

Coming Back To Your Heart Every Single Day

As you are moving through your life, and you’re operating from this heart-centered place, and you are paying attention to your passion, and your vision, and you’re aligning your ambitions with your true passion. And you’re taking these daily practices of moving toward your vision, your goal one step at a time, one day at a time, you’re actually building your future as you go. Do not let your subconscious mind tell you that one step is not good enough. Do not let the ego tell you that one step, one thing that you want to create one day, is not good enough. Imagine. Okay, we’re just going to do simple math here. If you did one thing per day, one way of being, practicing your state, your emotional and energetic state, practicing the way that you want to think if you did that, without even taking any other steps intentionally. Every single day, for a year, you have practiced moving yourself into an emotional state, a way of being, a way of operating for 365 days in a row. Now, is that realistic? Will you be perfect on this? No. And that’s okay. But I wanted to highlight that because even just taking a tiny shift in your emotional state, how you’re thinking, how you’re believing, and not getting too in your head about it, but just noticing, you will start making decisions and taking actions in alignment with your vision simply by coming back to your heart every single day. Whoa. 

I know your mind just went off, just like all the bells and whistles. What is possible for me? What can I create in a year just by coming back to my heart every single day, thinking about who I am, and who I want to be, and then being her, practicing, being in that energy? Practicing being the person, feeling the way that you want to feel, being connected to your heart and your vision. Your mind will automatically set up the actions for you. Most of us already know the actions that we need to take. Right? So, your mind will set that up for you, and you’ll start taking action. When you get in the thoughts, when you get up here in your ba-think-a-think, and you go over and over in your mind about the way that you want things to be, and how it has to be and being perfect. You are in your subconscious mind, and it’s allowing you to sabotage yourself. 

Your Effective Immediately Moment

So give yourself a breath, put your hand on your heart, and come back to asking the question, and this is your effective immediately moment of the week. Okay? Put your hand on your heart. What do I really want to create today? What am I committed to creating today? And then practice that all day long. Set alarms on your phone if you have to. Put post-its around. Allow yourself to get out of your old patterns by repetition of this plan, of this move, and you will see massive changes in your life. 

If you want to go deep. If you want to clear the gunk so you can clear the analysis paralysis, you can clear the overthinking, the hypervigilance, the anxiety, the depression, and the things that have stopped or stalled you, then reach out to me. You can connect with me at rebeccawiener.com. Or you can go right to callwithrebecca.com to connect with me. 

As you practice this, I want you to be super loving with yourself. Be super kind with yourself, and just notice. Keep track of it. Okay, I did this today. I felt this today, and see what unfolds for you. You have the magic in you. Your heart, your vision. It’s all there. Be super loving, and allow it to come to the surface. All right, have a beautiful week. I’ll see you next time. Bye for now.

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About the Author:

Rebecca Wiener McGregor, also known as The Anxiety Eraser, is a seasoned transformational hypnotist, trauma healer, and abundance coach. Since 2004, she guides visionary women to break free from anxiety, blocks, traumas, and fears, leading them to a life filled with abundance and purpose. Through her book “Loving Her” and work with conscious women executives, leaders, coaches, and healers worldwide, Rebecca sparks profound transformations, helping her clients embrace their true selves and create impactful, joyful, fulfilling lives.

To schedule an intro call click here.

For speaking and podcasting appearances: love@rebeccawiener.com