Last time, we discussed how important it is to remove conditions from your manifestation. And this week, I want to talk to you about a very important piece that’s often overlooked. And that is celebrating progress over perfection. 

Hey, beautiful human. And it’s me, Rebecca Wiener McGregor, The Anxiety Eraser, and welcome to another episode of Effective Immediately, the show where we talk mindset, healthy emotions, leadership, and abundance. And I gave you a mindset shift that you can make effective immediately. 

All right, super high achiever. The doer, the maybe overthinker, the over-analyzer, the really, really productive, really want your big thing so badly. Lean in just a little bit, okay? I want you to hear this. I want to hear this from someone who’s like you. Okay? And I want to speak directly to your heart. And I want to acknowledge it’s so easy to get caught up in wanting the big vision, the big goal, the big prize, that we can actually miss the perfectly imperfect moments on the path. And sometimes we don’t miss them. We actually see them, but they’re not good enough for us. 

Pause To Celebrate Along The Way

Today, I really want to break down what’s happening here. And I want you always just paying attention, listening with curiosity, thinking about yourself, looking at the data, no judgment, no need for judgment, okay? So imagine, and this won’t be hard for you to imagine because you’re probably living it. You have this big vision, this big goal, this big number goal, this big reach goal this big, you know, I want this many students in my programs goal, whatever the thing is that you have that is set in your mind, that is the big outcome, the big finish the thing that you want so badly. And maybe it’s a list of a dozen things. I want you to think about the path to getting there. And I want you to just think about how messy the path to getting there is. Maybe you’ve achieved some really big things. Most likely, you’ve achieved some really big things in the past, right? And on the way to that goal, on the way to the big vision, the big finish, the big prize, life happens, things can get messy, things can get very imperfect. And every one of those spaces where it’s messy, imperfect, even the chaos, and you work through it and want you to be able to celebrate each piece of that. Okay, so here’s what’s happening. We are looking for perfection in those moments when we dismiss the small successes on the way to the big thing. It’s because we don’t think we’ve truly succeeded unless we have the big finish, right? The big outcome, the big vision, the thing on the vision board that’s bigger than anything else. When that happens, when we get so focused on perfection. You might even be thinking, but I don’t really want perfection; I just want my big thing. That’s the perfection I’m talking about. That is a tiny little quiet focus on perfection. It’s so tiny that you almost don’t think it’s happening, right? It’s just a little well-meaning thought of, Yeah, but I want my big thing. I want my big goal. I really don’t want to stop until I get there. And I’m not suggesting you stop until you get to your big vision. What I’m saying is pause to celebrate everything on the way to that big vision. 

The Quiet Perfectionism That Leads To Burnout

That secret, almost covert perfectionism, in not settling or not allowing yourself to enjoy the path to the big vision, is that dangerous place of perfectionism. What happens in perfectionism? First of all, if you haven’t heard it, go to the Fear is a Motherf*cker Podcast we made years ago called “The Lie of Perfectionism”. Check that out; you might be interested in it. But also just noticing when we get into that place of perfectionism, even if we don’t really consciously understand that we’re in a place of perfectionism, but we’re focused on one thing, and nothing is going to be right until we have that one thing happen. That is the kind of quiet perfectionism that can breed a really, really bad case of burnout and exhaustion. No, just breathe that in, take that in, acknowledge it for yourself. No blame, no shame. Just acknowledging that when the only thing that gives you pleasure is reaching the big goal, then all those little pieces that happen on the way they’re getting overlooked. And they’re actually giving you an opportunity to enjoy the process. 

So many times, we’ll hear people in the business world, you know, I need to have XYZ number of clients each month or XYZ number of revenue each month. And if I’m falling short of that, then I’m not meeting my goal, and I’m not doing it as well as I could. And all this negative self-talk can happen and we push ourselves harder and harder and harder to get there. Yeah, we’ve been there, right? Maybe you’ve been there before. Maybe you’ve come out of it, maybe you’re on the other side of it, maybe you slipped back in. That would be normal. Right? It would be normal because you’re a human. And acknowledging the fact that when we do not allow ourselves to have the celebrations of the little things, noticing the small, seemingly microscopic moments of success on the way to the big vision, we actually take away those moments to celebrate and re-energize ourselves. Celebrating progress actually gives you more energy. It doesn’t take away from the big goal. It doesn’t make you complacent. It doesn’t make you content with what is. That’s something else. If something else like that is popping up, that’s a different story. We’ll talk about that another week.

The Pause That Gives You More Energy

Pausing to enjoy where you are and how far you’ve come on the way to the big visit, the big goal actually gives you more energy to get to your bigger goal. How does this happen? Because your mind gains more confidence when you acknowledge the successes that you’ve had, even if they seem teeny tiny. Even if they seem itsy bitsy. Acknowledging every success you have along the way. You’re putting out a new program, and one person signed up for the workshop; that’s a win! Someone saw it, someone signed up, and you can tweak whatever you need to do if you need to get to your bigger number. But one person signing up and getting your message is one place of impact. One person you’ve impacted. One person to acknowledge that you’re doing something right. Some piece of the big vision is going well. When you acknowledge that, you get to make a ripple with that person. You get to lean in and serve them the way you would the 1,000 people that you want in the program. When you lean in, and you take care of them, and you treat them the way you would that group of 1,000, you actually feel a level of success. You get to feel proud of yourself. You get to amplify your self-confidence, you get to amplify your self-esteem. And what happens when we do that we get to enjoy the energy from that, which will help us take the next steps to move to the big vision. 

If you’re constantly focusing on perfection, constantly focused on the big goal, as the only place that you can enjoy success, then you’re missing out on opportunities in the middle to re-energize yourself, to take care of your energy to pause and take stock of where you are and to tweak whatever you need to do to make sure that you’re not burning out or exhausting yourself or being too hard on yourself. It’s actually going to take longer to get to the big goal if you burn out. If you exhaust yourself, if you pick on yourself, and you put yourself down because you haven’t reached the big vision. So give yourself a little breath there. Give yourself some kindness, some love. If you’ve been doing this, it’s okay. You’re human. You’re not wrong. Just a little tweak will actually help make you make it to your big vision even easier.

Every Piece Counts

When you celebrate those small wins and you recognize the tiny ones. And there are a lot of pieces. Actually, we’re gonna talk about this in the next episode, but a lot of pieces about who you are becoming in the process of your big vision are such a huge thing to celebrate. So celebrate those tiny little wins, the wins that your messages got out, the automation that you set up worked, that you got that referral that someone cared enough about your work, and their work with you that they referred you to someone else. Every piece of that puzzle, every piece, every step on that path deserves celebration. Now. am I talking about that you have to like stop everything, have a big party with big balloons and glitter, and the whole thing? It doesn’t have to be like that. It can be just simply appreciating where you are. Writing down in your journal some things that you appreciate about this path, things that you might want to remember when you’re working towards your next goal, and pieces of your story that you might want to share. When you reach the big vision, you’ll have it all right there for yourself. But in the meantime, it is a reminder of how well you’re doing on the path. Especially when you have moments where it seems like there’s a little struggle, and then there’s some greatness that happens. We need to remember the greatness moments. We get to remember the greatness moments to help fuel us because there will be more moments when things are imperfect, maybe even messy, maybe even chaotic.

The Dangerous Precedent

As you move toward your big vision and, you are so focused on the big vision being the only place that you can have success. When something happens, those chaotic moments, those moments where things don’t go perfectly. And you’re chasing the perfection of the big goal, right? There is a pattern here that says you can only be happy when you have the big vision. It’s actually what we talked about last week, which is creating a condition that you can only feel successful once you have the big thing. You can only be happy once you have the big vision. You can only breathe and feel relief once you have the big contract. That’s a dangerous precedent to set for yourself. And one that you can begin to undo right now. Where every single piece of your journey, even the pieces that are messy, seemingly unsuccessful, seemingly chaotic, you can find some peace in there, some bit of learning, some bit of new awareness, and some way to shift to make it easier for yourself the next time. As we learn from the setbacks, we grow unconsciously, our confidence grows, and our self-esteem grows. And we are even energized from learning and figuring out the puzzle pieces from the setbacks. Isn’t that exciting? 

So often we think, oh my gosh, if we have one thing that goes wrong in this launch, in this new book, the new story, the new program, the new client, the new whatever thing that you’re trying to create, that if one thing goes wrong, we’ve we can feel like the whole thing will fall apart because we feel so far from our goal. It’s just even further off into the distance. But the truth is, when we look at those setbacks, when we look at the things that fall apart, seemingly, and we take the time to put them together, we take the time to look at the lessons, we take the time to look at what we have gained from that setback, the new understanding the new way of doing things, maybe a simpler path, maybe an easier path, maybe a path that takes less energy. When we learn from those setbacks, we allow ourselves to move forward with more clarity, more certainty, and more understanding. And usually, things go faster, even after a setback, to get into the big vision or the big goal. One thing that’s not often talked about is that when we have a setback, we really discover something important about ourselves. Whether we have a fear that is blocking us or we might have just a deeper understanding of how passionate we are about the outcome. Either one of those things can be very, very important. In fact, both are very important on the path of self-discovery. Releasing blocks, opening the path, opening the channel to receive, and to get to the goal, the big vision, the big finish, the big prize that much faster. 

Learning From Our Setbacks

Now, the next time that you have a setback, you fall down a little bit, you take the time to figure out what it was that was going on that caused it. What’s some underlying lesson there might be for you, the success that you can have from that lesson, and what you can create for yourself? How you can make it better, easier, or faster, or whatever the case may be toward that goal. This is really the end I’m talking about. When I say take the time, I don’t mean days and weeks to analyze it. Right? Simply acknowledging it, writing it down, remembering you’re a human too. Remembering that success is sometimes messy. Because you’re living, because you’re living your life, you’re going through the things that you’re going through in your perfectly imperfect life, right along with the process of this growing toward this big vision. 

Okay, as we move through these steps, right, and we celebrate making progress, we celebrate taking these steps, we celebrate the space in between the steps, we actually create more patience, and more persistence. This is so huge because allowing yourself to have more patience and to increase your persistence will actually help you achieve even bigger goals in the future. You’re developing a deeper level of discipline when you allow yourself to enjoy the process of where you’re going. You’re enjoying the process of being imperfect. You’re not telling yourself that the only way that I can feel good in my life is that I get to the big vision. You’re actually allowing yourself to enjoy the process and enjoying the space between your start and the big finish. Just for a moment, let that sink into your body. Remember, you feel your emotions in your body, right? So just let that marinate a little bit and think about how it feels. What space in your body might have a little holding of tension? What part of your body may have been activated a little bit? What were some of the thoughts that came? Patience and persistence sometimes feel like, oh, man, getting to this goal is going to be really hard. It’s going to be an arduous process, and it’s going to take forever. So I don’t want to have patience. I don’t want to be persistent. I just want to have my big goal right now. And that’s the only thing I’m going to allow myself to have. 

How To Speed Up Time

That’s a lie. That is a lie your subconscious mind is telling you because it wants you to be in this place of familiar thinking. Same thinking, predictable thinking every time you go for your goal. Because, remember, that’s what the subconscious believes is safe. The truth is when you allow yourself to have patience, when you allow yourself to have persistence on the way to your goal, when you allow yourself to enjoy the steps it actually goes faster. Why is that? Because you’re not resisting the setbacks, the downturns, the breakdowns, the chaos that can happen, you’re actually allowing yourself to be in the process to enjoy it, to appreciate it. And that will likely accelerate the process. Because when we resist the thing that we are resisting persists or expands. When we allow things to take time, they usually take less time. You know a watched pot never boils. You know that feeling when you need stuff to get done, and you just wish that the water would boil so you can have your tea, or you need to get the meal going, and you need that water to boil faster because you’re in such a rush. It seems to take forever. But if you acknowledge, Okay, the waters in the pot, it’s on the burner, the burners on, let’s go, and you’re doing things, and you’re just enjoying the process, it seems like you just turn around and that water is boiling. When you allow yourself to have that space, when you allow yourself to be a perfectly imperfect human, you allow yourself to appreciate the pieces, the essential steps, you actually make the time, go faster. It’ll feel faster for you, and it’ll likely be faster for you because you’re not fighting time. 

Enjoying The Present

The last thing I want to talk about here is that we get to enjoy every present moment. We get to be in the present right now, with how the sun is shining or how the rain is falling. I know there’s a lot of chaos around the weather right now. You get to be in enjoyment of what is right now. You get to enjoy what you are certain of right now. You get to enjoy the progress that you’ve made right now. You get to enjoy that you’re breathing, you’re blinking, you’re doing the things that you want to be doing. You get to enjoy your passion right now. You get to enjoy the bliss, the joy, and the fun of having a passion right now. When we focus only on the big vision, which a lot of people are told, and I’m sure I’ve even said it to you, focus on the big vision, right? Let that pull you through. Yes, I mean, do that. Focus on the big vision; let that pull you through. And also delight in the present moment. It gets to be a balance. When you need the big vision to pull you through, do that, but allow yourself to have joy in the present. Do not let the big visions steal any joy or happiness from your present moment. Right now is all we have. The rest is not guaranteed at all. So allow yourself to take in what is good right now. What feels good, what you’re learning, how you’re growing, what’s happening, the new things that you are noticing the people that you are meeting, every bit of that gets to be a place for celebration for you. Yes, keep going to the big vision. I’m a visionary. I love the big vision. It’s probably the most fun thing about my life is being in that vision, and being in the passion that created that vision. And I want to be present. I want to be present to my family. I want to be present to my friends. I want to be present for my clients. I want to be present in the moment with my prayers. With my relationship with God and my higher power. I want to be present. I get to be present, and you get to be present and enjoy this part right now. Even though you’ve got the big goal, even though you’ve got the billion-dollar dream, and you’re moving toward that, you get to enjoy all the good that is right here, right now. Okay, breathe that in. Breathe that in. Practice your gratitude. Practice your appreciation. Practice that as much as you practice being in a big vision. I promise you it will help you enjoy the path to your big vision more. And it’ll actually accelerate. Not that you need it to. Everything’s happening just as it should, right? But it’ll actually help you feel like everything’s being accelerated because you’re allowing yourself to be in the present moment. Not free thinking all the past mistakes, not only focusing on being happy in the future but allowing yourself to have it right here, right now, in the present moment. You will create a more fulfilling life and a much more sustainable path toward your goals and vision without burning out, without being exhausted, and without being mad at yourself all the time that you’re not there yet. You get to enjoy this present moment. 

Your Effective Immediately Mindset Shift

Okay, so are you ready for your effective immediately mindset shift to the week? All right, here we go. As you are moving towards your journey or are moving toward your big vision, you’re on your journey and you are taking a little stock. I want to invite you to take a little stock. What is going well? What’s going well on this big journey? Sometimes, when we focus on the big vision, we think about what we can’t do or what we must do. So we’re in this place of ‘have to’ or ‘can’t do,’ which feels a little bit out of control. But in the middle of that space is what is going well. What do we get to do? What feels good here? What do I appreciate? What am I learning? And who am I becoming? And let yourself enjoy that. Write it down. Build this beautiful journal for yourself that is full of things that you appreciate and full of the successes that you’re having. The tiny ones, the big ones, even the one where you just figured out your CRM, and you finallygot that new funnel to work or the new automation to work, or you finally got your foot in the door with that company. And you finally got to talk to somebody about making an appointment to meet with a decision-maker. Whatever the thing is for you. Celebrate all the little pieces. Have some frickin’ fun. That’s what you’re here for. Right? Have some fun and enjoy your passion. Enjoy all the space between your start and the big prize. 

If you want to reach out to me to work together because you’re getting caught in any of the stuff that’s been hovering around about perfectionism, you’re stalling yourself, you’re in a little bit of paralysis, I can help you get out of that. Or you just simply want to elevate your thinking and move toward your big vision, with more ease and less fighting yourself. Please reach out. You can even connect with me through rebeccawiener.com. Or you can go right to callwithrebecca.com to schedule a call. I would love to support you one-on-one. Making it toward your big vision even faster, better, easier, and happier, and having more fun. 

All right. Enjoy celebrating all the progress that you’re making. Take really good care of yourself, and I’ll see you next time. Bye for now.

 

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About the Author:

Rebecca Wiener McGregor, also known as The Anxiety Eraser, is a seasoned transformational hypnotist, trauma healer, and abundance coach. Since 2004, she guides visionary women to break free from anxiety, blocks, traumas, and fears, leading them to a life filled with abundance and purpose. Through her book “Loving Her” and work with conscious women executives, leaders, coaches, and healers worldwide, Rebecca sparks profound transformations, helping her clients embrace their true selves and create impactful, joyful, fulfilling lives.

To schedule an intro call click here.

For speaking and podcasting appearances: love@rebeccawiener.com